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Learning to Dad with Tyler Ross 025 - Brian Nagel

Speaker 2: All right. Hello [00:00:30] and welcome to learning to dad. I'm Tyler Ross and today's guest is Brian Nagel. Thanks for spending time with me, man.

Speaker 3: Tyler, I'm really excited to be here with you. Appreciate you having me on hopefully today we can learn and grow together.

Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the, that's the point. And, uh, I think it was fun the way that we kind of got to messaging back and forth. We found each other on Instagram. I looked at you and found that aside. I think I recognized that this guy from somewhere so after a little further investigation, [00:01:00] which by happenstance, my four year old daughter's favorite song is Katy Perry roar. And there you are the Katy Perry's boyfriend in the, in that, and that was five years ago. So you've done a whole lot since then. Catch me up, man. What are you doing right now?

Speaker 3: Um, that was, that was a big launching kind of my, a launching pad for me as a, as an actor and for an entertainer. But in those five years, I mean, I couldn't [00:01:30] have imagined a better life. I've gotten married, I've got two baby girls. Now I've got two feature films under my belt. And, um, you know, it looks like things are going to continue down the path of growing and expanding on what I'm trying to do. So it's just been a whirlwind. I mean, I think it's been, you know, like you said five years, but it seems like it was just yesterday. And I looked back, I'm like, what the heck happened in five years? You know, as, as every dad talks about, it's like the appearance [00:02:00] of time changes and, uh, it has certainly changed for me and I'm still learning how to deal with that change, you know? And I think that's one of the struggles that I personally,

Speaker 2: Yeah. So you just had your second baby girl in the last, what? Two, three weeks.

Speaker 3: Three weeks. Yeah, it was again, like we'd spoken before. It was a whirlwind, you know, she was due May 29th and she came on May 20th. [00:02:30] And, um, we had a wedding the night before, so, and my wife was in the wedding, so there was all this anticipation about, okay, I'm in the wedding as this baby, you're going to make it, you know, like, and we're dancing at the wedding, we're having a good time having a drink or two. And, um, it's a great story. My wife comes home, you know, I kind of go to bed. She wakes up like an hour or two later and she's like, yeah, I think this baby's coming. She was having some contractions on the floor, you know, but they were starting to be like five minutes [00:03:00] apart. So it's like three o'clock. She wakes me up and then we get to the hospital at four and the baby's born at five twenty two.

Speaker 2: Unbelievable. That's wonderful. How quick that

Speaker 3: Was. Yeah. You know, my wife has such a champion, you know, it amazes me like how she kind of held out and she's like, yeah, I don't want to wake him. Like she was concerned about me. Like, that's how awesome she is. And she wakes me up. We get to the hospital and it was literally two pushes. And I don't know if you were there, I'm [00:03:30] sure you were the birth of your children, but it's such a grueling process just to go get registered and to, you know, to get, you know, to get into it and the way that she did it, I was just like, and compared to the first one, of course, you know, every child's, uh, delivery into the world is totally a different experience. So for me, this one was just like a blink of an eye and, and she's here.

Speaker 2: That's so cool. I want to talk about like, you're coming from Cleveland and your move [00:04:00] out to LA. But while we're talking about this baby, you just had, and the birth, one of my friends actually in LA just had a baby a couple of weeks ago and their labor story was traumatic. I mean, oh God, talk to me about your experience. Just so fresh. Like where were you in the room? What'd you do all these things.

Speaker 3: So traumatic is, is those traumatic stories scare us all. I want to, I want to put that out there. And [00:04:30] I also want to say that those are the ones that kind of verbally through our, through our circles and through our tribes, but it is the most beautiful experience. And, you know, I felt that my role in the birth was literally just to be my wife's champion. And one story that I like to tell specifically about my first birth was how special was like still we had the baby and I laid in bed with my wife for two or three days to, to help her heal and to just be right there [00:05:00] with her, what specifically relating back to this most recent pregnancy, which was less than three weeks ago, you know, it's, it's one of those things where I go there and it's, what can I do to help my wife feel more comfortable, be more confident, not be worried about what I'm seeing the imagery that's going through my head, because I think that women are so caught up in how they look all the time.

Speaker 3: And how does my husband see me physically? And [00:05:30] I personally try to take an approach to see people from the inside out, you know, and that, and that comes from their heart and their brain and their soul. And the beauty that my wife exudes, especially in these moments of stress and these, these moments of intensity is just it's awesome experience. So I'm there, I'm holding your hand. I'm just saying, breathe, stay calm. You know, so we got there and she was six centers dilated, and the contractions were basically every like [00:06:00] three, two to three minutes. And they said, Hey, this baby's coming. They called the OB she's coming in. And, uh, my wife's like, you know, the thing with birth is, is it going to be a 24 hour birth? Or is it going to be 12 hours? It's going to be an hour is going to be 10 minutes.

Speaker 3: We don't know. And that's that uncertainty that scares us still. My wife's like, you know what, I'm going to try an epidural, you know, and we got one for the first one. So the guy comes in and, and for those of you dads out there that don't don't know basically what they do is they stick a big thick [00:06:30] needle in the spine and then they have to stick a plastic tube in that hole. And then they inject it with saline and then comes to the medicine point being it's a process. It takes time and it never, it never got, my wife, never got the epidural because there wasn't enough time. So she did it full on experiencing, you know, the pain, which to me was always a goal. But that's just kinda my approach. I'm always about like holistic and natural as much as possible.

Speaker 3: My wife is a nurse [00:07:00] at Cedar Sinai. So she is, uh, she's educated on the medical practices and that kind of thing. So, but I'm always saying, Hey, this is you. This is your thing. I want to trust you and support whatever it is you want to do. If you want an epidural, if you want whatever, do it, because I trust you and I'm here to support whatever you need to make this, this situation as comfortable as possible for you. So, so the epidural never hit. And [00:07:30] so, and her water had not even broken at this point. She's laying on the bed for maybe 20 minutes at this point. And the, and the, and the water broke. And she explained it to me as the most painful thing that she'd ever experienced. And to me, what I was thinking in my head was okay, what her body is telling her is, is that this baby's ready to come right now.

Speaker 3: And it's just, it's going to be this crazy painful experience, but the body and the mind of a woman is more incredible than [00:08:00] we all can, as men we can experience because we don't know, but you know, there's these, these chemicals that the brain sends to her body that says, Hey, listen, you're going to have this baby. I'm going to help you through it. I'm going to make sure that there's plain pain blockers and all this awesome chemistry that happens in a woman's body to get her through this, having the baby, and to me to see that, to see her experiencing that, it was so beautiful. And I, right after the baby was born, I took a picture. [00:08:30] I said, Hey, I want to take the first picture of you with your baby. And it was like two minutes after. And she had this look on her face.

Speaker 3: Like she was just in this, you know what I mean? Like she's just like seeing and stars. And to me that captured the beauty of a moment because her body was, was, had her prepared to have this baby. And she did it. So like, you know, if there's a war, if grace, even, I don't know if that fits the situation, but to me, it was graceful even though there's [00:09:00] grunting and yelling and, and chaos and stress and all this energy, it was graceful and it was beautiful. So it was, you know, if, if a man has an opportunity to be there with his wife and to hold her hand and to support her, her body is made for that. So, you know, if there's a piece of advice that I have for that is, is just to support, you know, but it was, you know, it's a mind blowing experience. It's, it's hard for me to, you know, the first one I think, is [00:09:30] it changes you, the second one has a different effect, you know, and I'm sure you can relate

Speaker 2: Most definitely. Well, how far apart are your two?

Speaker 3: So my first one is going to be two in July and my second one was just born. So there are about 21 months apart, I think

Speaker 2: July, July,

Speaker 3: July.

Speaker 2: That's why I'm on July 9th. My sister is May 20th. That would have been too weird if we were just there.

Speaker 3: Yeah, it's weird. I mean, [00:10:00] you know, there's, I think, uh, there's, there's, there's some, the universe works itself out in the way that there's these connections of your sister having same birthday and you know, so my first daughter, her, she was born on my wife's grandpa's birthday. And my second daughter's time was like, my one, one of my grandparents' birthdays or something. It's just, it's, it's so weird how there's so much connection and it's, it's, it's beyond us, I think.

Speaker 2: Well, listening, [00:10:30] listening to you talk about being a dad and fi your Instagram page is Brian Nagel, eight being on your Instagram page and exchanging messages with you. You seem to have this consistent sense of kind of awe about the way your wife was, the way, the way she is the kids that you have. Is that been like a, an orientation that you've always had, or is that something you worked to kind of get to?

Speaker 3: I think it's something that, as I grew into a man, it was something that I had, [00:11:00] you know, I have done a lot of self-development and, and obviously you have as well, and I think many of your, your guests have as well, you know, listening to the books that they read and to the way that they try to explore who they are as a person and how they can grow the way they want to grow. And that's something that has been very important to me. But one, one of my cornerstones of belief is gratitude. And I think that when I approach life, everything has to [00:11:30] be with gratitude. You know, you can sit there and say, oh, you know, my Instagram's this, and it's not getting that many likes. And this person doesn't like me and those things, you know, you can focus on those, but what I've always, I've always had this mentality.

Speaker 3: And I think, you know, uh, gratitude is just so important, you know, in so many aspects, but it's something that I've worked on over the years, uh, specifically, probably the last five to seven years. But I will [00:12:00] say there's, there's a residing story that kind of resonates with me as a child. And when I was in, I don't know, third, fourth, fifth grade, my mom got me this poster, you know, it's like when I was a kid, when we were kids, it's like, you got a poster. It was like, dude, I'm hanging stuff in my room. This is so cool. Right. Whether it was Batman or for whoever it was during the day, but I got this, this poster and it was this monkey. And he was like doing the splits. And he was wearing like this Elian shirt and he's got his class. And it says attitude is to everything.

Speaker 3: [00:12:30] And I might only hung in my room for a year or two. I probably outgrew the imagery that was with it, but the same attitude has everything stuck with me. And that was just a resonating moment that I think helped formulate my thought processes in life. And, you know, again, there was another one in sixth grade where my, my, my teacher, people had to say one thing about a person that they liked. Right. And my teacher, my sixth grade teacher, Mrs. Uh, Higbee [00:13:00] told me, Hey, what I like about you is you're always smiling. Whether you're talking to somebody or you're, you just have this pleasant energy, not, I don't see myself as that person, but I'm happy to be that person. But, um, those resonating moments, you know, they, they have an impact and you, I think you have to choose those, those, those moments in life to see them and see how important they are. Um, so yeah, so attitude and gratitude, you know, you read these books and they tell you, you know, when I feel [00:13:30] depressed and I do, sometimes I wake up and I think about what I'm thankful for, you know? And, uh, so I choose, I choose to kind of live in all, like you said, and sometimes when I forget what I'm doing in life, that's, that's what I have to do. And it brings me right back to my center, you know, so

Speaker 2: That's all was may in fact, um, I'll share this with you, cause I, this is today, my gratitude list for the day.

Speaker 3: That's awesome.

Speaker 2: Yeah. It's a, that's a nice movement on Instagram. [00:14:00] I think it's called daily gratitude is the link. I haven't kept up with posting it, but you know, it's a great way. It's like better than a cup of coffee, getting your mind. Right. And trying to stay cool. Just 10 little things from hot coffee to the health of your family. It's great. So I can appreciate it that.

Speaker 3: Yeah. And I, and I think that, you know, there are so many people out there that struggle with in our day and age with depression, anxiety, and just the struggles of this day and age that we live in, you know, [00:14:30] the competitiveness and the, you know, but what I've always told myself is, is that if I can practice gratitude that I'm going to be okay, and I want others to go up there and to, to, to practice these things too, because I know that it will change your life, you know? And that's, that's my goal is to help others and to inspire, you know, so I'm glad you're doing it. I'm glad you're sharing that message because, you know, when I, when I, when I see your page and I see the way that you kind of do things, I'm like, dude, this [00:15:00] is somebody that I can see, you know, and I can look up to, you know, and you can be a, uh, a hero of mine. So I appreciate, you know, what you're doing. That's, you know, I, I want to reiterate to that to people like, you know, knowledge is such power, you know, and just knowing that if you have this capability to write biplanes down, that you appreciate. And I think we all do for the most part, it'll change your life. So,

Speaker 2: Um, I'm grateful for that. Thank you for saying that, Brian, and, uh, you're obviously making an impact too, cause [00:15:30] he's got an extraordinary following, just in terms of people wanting to hear the message that you're trying to share, which is a wildly positive message. Do you think that you were raised in a way that it kind of helped you like cultivate that inside of yourself? Did your parents treat them particularly well?

Speaker 3: You know, it's weird because I think everyone has a story and, you know, mine has some dark, some dark chapters, like, like many, you know, and I think people don't maybe don't realize [00:16:00] that about me or don't realize that about everybody. Like everybody has somebody in their family, whether it's cousins or friends or associates or whoever that maybe struggle with addiction or sickness or obesity or depression. And, you know, so, so I had some real dark chapters in my life and that's not what this podcast is about, so I won't get into it. You know, I think that that, that kind of those experiences drove me to who I am today. And, you know, [00:16:30] kind of going back to what we talk about just a few minutes ago, you know, when somebody sits there and says, ah, well, I don't have this, but you do, you do have these other things to be appreciative.

Speaker 3: So I, I've kinda just, again, like use that as my thought process to get through my dark days. Now I had two great parents. They got divorced when I was, when I was a young man. And I think, you know, what we learned from our parents is what not to do for our children. So I'm trying not [00:17:00] to do some of the things that they did, but aside from what they did wrong, they did so many things. Right. And I have two great parents. My dad's remarried. I have a wonderful stepmother and I have a wonderful support system in general. I have aunts and uncles that love me. I had great grandparents, you know, so, so I think that there's, there's a tribe. There's a circle of people who help, who helped raise me and show me many [00:17:30] things, you know, and I've, and I've looked at all those people in my life, whether it was my uncle who said, Hey, listen, you know, you keep that glass half full and you're going to be okay.

Speaker 3: Or it was my grandma who just loves me and hugged me and smiled and spoiled me or, or whether it was my mom who her strength was just always attacking me with love. You know, my mom is, is just got the biggest heart. Now you look at my dad, [00:18:00] he's, he's a blue collar guy. And his, his, his method is, is hard work. It's dedication to job. And, you know, so, so you pick and choose those things that you learned from people, right? And the gifts that I've been given from those people are, are just incredible. So I always tell people, you know, I, I consider myself a very, very hardworking person. That's extremely loving and spiritual. And I, and I talk about the loving spiritual [00:18:30] side I got from my mom yet my business entrepreneurial sense, my hardworking ethics come from my dad. So it's, it's this ying and yang that were presented to me as a child.

Speaker 3: And I feel like I've been gifted both of those incredibly blessed, incredibly blessed to have those two people that showed me such, such strong viewpoints that brought me to who I am today. Um, so I think, you know, to answer your question, I, I, haven't given so many gifts as a child, [00:19:00] as a child to get me where I am today, you know, but needless to say, there were also some things that I had to work through, you know? So, so yeah, I, I was, I was very blessed with a strong upbringing in so many ways.

Speaker 2: Yeah. That's a, that's a potent combination of hard work and discipline with spirituality, gratitude, love, and that's awesome. Tell me about being in Ohio and the decision to come out to LA,

Speaker 3: You know, Ohio is, you know, it's, it's [00:19:30] that Midwest charm I was born and raised on the west side of Cleveland. Couldn't think of a better place to grow up. The, the environment there is just, it's safe, you know, it's the, weather's not the best, but you know, there there's so much, there's so much to offer, uh, in Cleveland. And I loved it so much. I went to school originally to be a pilot. I went to Kent state university and studied that for a few years. And, and what I, what I kind of ultimately decided was, [00:20:00] you know, being a pilot is kind of like moving up that corporate ladder, right? It's you work about five to 10 years, you know, after that, you're, you've got a good schedule. You're making good bills, you know, you're, you're, you're doing what's what's right. But I wanted something a little bit more.

Speaker 3: I don't say I wanted uncertainty because I didn't want uncertainty. I wanted, let's say more opportunity to, to have control over my life. And so I was like, [00:20:30] you know what? I think I'm just gonna, um, I think I'm just going to go the business route. I'd always been an entrepreneur when I was in grade school and high school. I had my law business and before I went to college, I I'd saved up $20,000, my own hard-earned money. Um, which, you know, um, you know, at time and among my circle and among my community was a lot of money. And so, um, you know, but it was that entrepreneurial spirit that I had always, I really appreciate [00:21:00] it. And, and it was kind of who I was. And so when I graduated from school, I said, you know what, whatever it is I want to do in life, there's probably going to be more opportunity in LA.

Speaker 3: Um, the sun is always shining. I'm an outdoors person. And my brother was out here and my brother is, is he's my business partner. Uh, he's one of my biggest champions of life. And, um, you know, so him and I have worked together since we've been out here, but so I graduated from school out here and, um, you know, just to kind of continue [00:21:30] on with that story. I worked in marketing for about six years and, um, always kind of wanted to get into the industry. And it's one of those things where my rational I'm very lot, I'm a very logical person. It said, you know, Hey, listen, if you want to be an actor or a model, you know, you can't do that because there's 10 million other guys. And if you've ever been out to LA, you come out here and, you know, you walk into a room and every guy's got awesome biceps, a great beard, great hair, great this.

Speaker 3: And, um, [00:22:00] and you know, um, that put a lot of fear in me. Um, but needless to say, I knew that I had to set my, I set myself up financially with just a, a small cushion. Um, and I just got done working 56 days straight. And I said, you know what, I'm going to, I'm going to go out and see if I can find Somali jobs. And I had done some things before, but, um, I found a job working for Skechers as a foot model, believe it or not. And, um, it was, this was like seven or [00:22:30] eight years ago. So I've been a foot model for Sketchers. And that has been a great, um, substantial bill payer for me for quite a while. Um, and I think the point is, is that, you know, I, I jumped off the ledge and, um, you know, I was afraid I was scared and now I'm fully in it and I'm still scared, but I'm, I'm moving forward. You know? Um, so that was kind of what brought me out to LA was, was just seeking opportunity. [00:23:00] And, um, you know, I guess the Hollywood lights, but, you know, I was young and energetic. So,

Speaker 2: Um, somebody that, that young, energetic, Brian that's out there right now, thinking about cutting loose from Western Cleveland, coming out to LA chase the lights, like what's, what's something you tell them to help get them prepared for what they're in for,

Speaker 3: You know, what I, what I've come to believe and what I've come to preach to people who say, Hey, I want, cause I get [00:23:30] hit up all the time on people who want to be an actor on Instagram or, um, you know, I tell them, Hey, it's just like any other business. If you want to be a pilot, if you want to be a doctor, if you want to be a real estate agent, you just don't get your license and say, I'm, I'm it. You know, it's, it's about the journey. It's about, um, it's about putting in that hard work. And sometimes, you know, the most famous doctors, the most famous actors, they don't know what [00:24:00] they're doing. They feel lost. They feel scared. They feel all these emotions, whether they talk about or not. But it's something that you just have to put your nose to the grindstone, continue to work hard, continue to believe in your purpose and your vision.

Speaker 3: And, you know, you'll get nuggets of truth that say, Hey, this is the path that you should be on. And if you continue to seek, you will find, you know, it's like the old adage seeking you will find. So you, you just, you [00:24:30] just gotta do it. And listen, if you're, if you're a doctor, you're not going to have 300 patients the day you get out of a grad school, you know, you've got to do your practice and you've got to network and do all these things. So it takes time. And sometimes it takes some doctors I always use, I don't know why I always use doctors and rough cause they make a lot of money and they're, they're, you know, they're, they're vital to our society, but, um, you know, sometimes it takes 20 years. [00:25:00] Sometimes it takes 10. Sometimes it takes a couple of years.

Speaker 3: Sometimes these, these people, they get big breaks and that's fine, that's their journey. And you have to, you have to just say, Hey, that's not my journey. My journey is my journey and this is where I'm at. So you can do it. Anybody can do it, you know, and for those who want to be an actor or who want to be in this industry, you know, everybody brings a unique skillset, whether it is into, um, [00:25:30] whatever field you're going into, whether it's business or marketing, you know, you have, uh, every person has a specific skillset that makes them special. And if you can learn how to utilize those, you know, you'll find a place in this world where you can serve, you know, and that that's, that's important. So, um, you know, and yeah, I've got some things personally figured out, but I still feel on a daily basis, like, what am I doing? You know, like how long am I married [00:26:00] and have two kids and I make movies and you know, but that's what I do. So

Speaker 2: I think that little sense of debts, comfort, that little idea of having a little nugget of paranoia in your brains at all time drives you and keeps you on your toes.

Speaker 3: Definitely does definitely

Speaker 2: Tell me about a steel house production. So it looks like you, uh, uh, involved in making a movie with some big names and it Denise Richards, Mischa Barton. Um,

Speaker 3: Yeah, [00:26:30] so yeah, so SteelHouse house productions was a company that my brother and I started, we called it steel house because my dad was a steel worker and he instilled that, you know, that, that cornerstone of just hard grit and, you know, and this, as you know, is probably one of the more difficult industries to really break into and it's going to take a house made of steel to survive. So, um, steel house productions is the production company [00:27:00] where, um, outside of some of the independent modeling and independent, uh, acting that I do on a day to day basis, I'm working with my brother. Uh, we do commercial work. We do, um, you know, industrial videos. We've done, uh, two movies, one being clown town. That was our first feature film. And then the most recent one that we did was with, uh, Mischa Barton and Denise Richards.

Speaker 3: And, um, you know, again, so [00:27:30] our business is about six years old and it has grown steadily for six years. And I think that as an entrepreneur, it's like, oh, you know, my business, isn't making millions yet. Right. And it's like, where like, how do I get to those millions? How do I get to those, to those huge paychecks or, or, you know, we're always seeking those things. Um, but I think we have to kind of be rooted and just say, Hey, we're growing, we're doing this. Um, and we [00:28:00] have a plan for, for further growth. We've got another movie that we're working on. Um, it's, it's much different than what we did the first couple movies. The first couple of movies we did were in the horror thriller genre. And that's, uh, where a lot of companies, uh, break into the industry, just because, you know, you can make a horror thriller with smaller names, uh, on tighter budgets and it can still get out there and still be successful.

Speaker 3: If you make a drama, it's going to be a little bit more hard and saying, oh, [00:28:30] this drama starring Brian Nagel, who nobody knows, you know, um, you know, you want to get a product out there with some bigger names. Um, but you know, it's a work in progress and we're growing and learning. And, um, it's, it's really exciting to, to have a company where you work with a family member. Do you work with family members? Yeah, my father and I worked together. Okay. So, I mean, my dad just retired like a month ago, so he, [00:29:00] he has worked on both of our movies with us and I'm sure you share, you know, when you work like working with my brother, um, you know, it's been such an incredible opportunity because he's, he's one, he's a great guy and he's got a lot of the work ethic that I do.

Speaker 3: Um, but I think there's, there's just this drive to, you know, to just make this happen. And we have a shared goal. Um, the, you know, we want to employ people and we want to help [00:29:30] them pursue their dreams. And, um, you know, so the steel house is, is, um, it's, it's, you know, if it's probably my third, it's my third child, you know, so, uh, it's just everyday wake up and what can I do for steel house? How do I get that next movie moving a little bit faster? And, um, you know, it's, it's one of those things where you just keep putting your nose to the grindstone and looking for progress and seeking, [00:30:00] um, stories to tell and, you know,

Speaker 2: Yeah, that's awesome. Well, I know, uh, being an entrepreneur, being an actor, uh, being a model, being a, uh, in production, you've got auditions, uh, call times callbacks meetings and there at any given time, I don't know if people understand that a 5:00 AM call time might mean that you're not home till midnight, if you go into the, so like, how do you manage that [00:30:30] time with your, you know, growing family?

Speaker 3: Right. So, you know, it's, again, kind of thinking, I was thinking about some of the things that, you know, kind of, I hold true as a, as a human and one of the residing, um, words that I love to use on a daily balance daily daily basis is balance. Balance is so important to me. Um, you know, and I've learned that [00:31:00] through years of, um, being somebody who loves to workout, you know, working on just your balance when you're lifting weights and that kind of thing. It's so crucial because all your muscles are working together. Even if you're doing a chest press or your feet planted on the ground, are they providing, you know, balanced support for your core, for your chest, for your arms, for your forearms, for your hands to lift that bar? Um, so balanced to me is so important. Um, and yes, [00:31:30] uh, I do put in 12, 15 hour days, um, quite a bit, but I also put in quite a bit of time with my family.

Speaker 3: Um, so in order to, for me to achieve balance, it's, it kind of goes back to my attitude, um, when it comes to my wife and my family. And it's one of those things where, uh, if my wife asks me to do some, it's not about, well, I've got this other thing to do, or, you know, I'm [00:32:00] kinda tired, you know, it's, it's yes. You know what, honey, I'm going to work on pushing the trash can in, or taking the trash out more efficiently or doing whatever it is you need me to do for you. Um, so I think balance is, is just the short answer to that. I try to find balance in my relationships with my daughters, with my wife, with my work relationships, um, in my health. Um, and when I feel that all [00:32:30] those things are balanced, they all are working in the right direction.

Speaker 3: They're all growing, right. We wanna, we want to see growth. Um, so I think that's my answer. Um, and it's hard sometimes because my wife is so incredible because, um, when I was working on the last movie toy box, you know, it was it's six days a week. And as one of the lead producers and one of lead actors, it's no shorter than, you know, a 15 hour day. Um, you know, and, and she's [00:33:00] so patient with me and says, Hey, you know what? I know that this is what makes you a happy dad at home. I know this is what makes you a good husband, me letting you do what you're passionate about is what, um, I'm going to, um, I'm going to let you do your passions. And if it requires you to be gone for three weeks, I'm going to give that to you.

Speaker 3: Um, and she knows that I'm going to come back stronger, more in love, um, and, and more supportive for [00:33:30] her. Um, so I think that, you know, she she's, you know, she's the ying to my yang and she's, um, she's the reason that I do this and that I can do this, uh, her support, you know? Yeah. I don't know. I can't say enough about her because she's such a crucial part to who I am now. Um, and, um, yeah, I just feel like she deserves [00:34:00] the accolades when it comes to, um, me being able to be a great dad and, and, and, and do that because she gives me, she says, yes, you can go to that meeting at seven o'clock at night, even though it's at a bar, you know what I mean? And yes, we're going to have a drink. Um, but she, you know, I know plenty of people in their relationships, well, it's Tuesday night, we were supposed to watch Handmaid's tale on Hulu tonight. She knows that like, my industry doesn't work that way and she's [00:34:30] so patient. Um, and I think it's, it's, you know, from my part, it's also being aware that, uh, Hey, you know what, you've been gone three nights this week, you know, it's, it's time to have a family date and take the family out for ice cream or go to the park. Uh, so I think it's an awareness of, of being able to balance those things. And by no means,

Speaker 2: Yeah, so many great, important things I'm sitting here, nodding my [00:35:00] head, like, dude,

Speaker 3: Try not to be a Jabber mouth, but maybe I had too much coffee this morning.

Speaker 2: No, I'm, I'm with you though. I mean, the importance of understanding from the relationship standpoint, what fulfills your partner and that your wife is aware enough to see that you are not your best to you. If you're not doing the things that fulfill you, that allow you to be energetic and loving and present while you are there. Um, book where, uh, Gary Keller talks [00:35:30] about counterbalance, you know, it's never 50 50, it might be 90 10, but then it's back to 90 10, the other way. It it's unusual that people have demands or schedules or even desires to participate in a life like that where you and I work 80 hours a week. So that heaven forbid we didn't have to work 40. Like that'd be a horrible existence for us.

Speaker 3: I know it's, it's so weird to think that that like people that why you do that, like, it's [00:36:00] just the love and the passion that drives me, you know,

Speaker 2: That's something incredibly important that also resonated just taking the trash out, like being aware of what your partner needs to cause that mine is trash. Like, it sounds like yours might be the dishes so actively having to work on those things. Right. Have you, how do you guys work those things out? And how's your relationship with your wife changed since you started having kids?

Speaker 3: [00:36:30] Um, you know, so my wife is a very unselfish person, I think, as you can probably tell by me talking about her. Um, and I, and I think that her being unselfish, um, and I, and I think that, I mean, I didn't get married till I was 30 years old. I think that I kinda got my selfishness out in my twenties, you know, back in some of my previous relationships, there was some jealousy and there's some unhealthy habits. And now it's like, [00:37:00] if my wife says she needs to go to Molly for a week, I'm just going to be like, go to Molly for a week. It doesn't matter to me if that's what you need to be, um, the best wife or, or you need to live your best life, I'm here to support you, whatever that means. Um, because I know at the end of the day, um, that's going to bring her home and her kisses are going to be that much sweeter to me. Hold on one second. I got to wipe off my lens. This is really bothering me.

Speaker 3: [00:37:30] I'm like, do I look blurry? I don't know if that helped or not, but, um, so, um, but so, and then in having and having the kids, um, you know, again, I think it's like, it's, it's, it's, reshifting that balance, right? It, it might've been w with one child that might've been 30, 30, 30, or 20, 20, 60, whatever it was. And now it's, we have this new, new being in our circle, in our tribe that we have to [00:38:00] rebalance into the equation. Um, and so, you know, I understand that at this point in time, my wife and I are our intimate connection is not going to be the strongest it's ever been. So I have to accept that as a man, I can't be selfish and say, I need this. You know, I have to sit there and say, you know, there's just not enough time right now for, for me to, um, [00:38:30] to have those things, you know, and I have to give that time in order for her to give time to my, to my baby.

Speaker 3: And I, again, seeing the big picture, I realized that that's, that's more important than my child has given that love and that care so that she can grow into a human that's going to help change this world in a better direction. Um, and I know I'll get mine and, you know, whether it's 10 years down the road [00:39:00] or whatever the case may be. Um, so I think that, you know, you, there's a lot of sacrifice that's involved in life. And I think that in this day and age, you know, maybe sometimes it's not really talked about enough is, you know, I love David Goggins. He's all, he's so hardcore sometimes too hardcore for me. But David Goggins is a guy that inspires me because he kind of has that grit that I believe in. Um, and he has an attitude that, that I can also assimilate with [00:39:30] that says, sometimes you have to dig deep, you gotta find the dirt.

Speaker 3: Um, you, you've got to find those wounds that are deep inside of our ourselves, and you got to figure out how to heal them. Um, and, and, and kind of relating back to the question is, is how do you find the time sometimes you just got to make that sacrifice, you know, um, those sacrifices that I might make now, um, they could change the world in 10 years [00:40:00] now, will I know whether it was the sacrifice I made yesterday or today or tomorrow, who knows, but the point is, is that I believed that those sacrifices that I'm making, um, for, let's say the, the, the benefit of my relationship with my wife, uh, the sacrifices that I'm making now are, are, are helping my children. Right. Um, now that's not to say that my wife and I have this terrible relationship right now, because we don't, it's great. [00:40:30] It's fantastic. It's everything that it needs to be in this moment. Um, but there's not a lot of date time. There's not a lot of alone time. Um, and that's okay. You know, um, so that's kind of what I've come to, to grow through and to learn and, um, you know, for new parents out there, uh, it's a learning process. You know, parenting one child is much different compared to two children and you have three or four children.

Speaker 2: [00:41:00] You've

Speaker 3: Only got two. Okay. Are you guys thinking about three yet?

Speaker 2: The conversation has been an emotional roller coaster a week ago to get a vasectomy. And two days ago she wanted to have a third kid. It's like, so right now we're in, uh, we're on, we're on the tarmac waiting,

Speaker 3: Right? Yeah. It's excuse me. Hold on one second.

Speaker 2: Sure. Well, you touched on something really important that that's a theme [00:41:30] that I think, like you said, goes overlooked that, um, people that are wired in a more entrepreneurial way or who have other ambitions outside of whatever it is that they do once they get introduced to a family, a wife and a kid, suddenly they feel like they can't go record that podcast or chase that other side hustle or do this hobby. And I would pause it that you can, you just have to prioritize and be more efficient [00:42:00] because you've found ways to have two kids, satisfying relationship, a production company, and all the other things that you're doing. So like, is there, you know, a little golden nugget that you'd offer somebody that's about to enter into that world?

Speaker 3: Um, you know, again, it's, I'm figuring it out as I go. Um, it's, it's hard. It really is hard, you know, because, you know, I, with this new [00:42:30] second child that I have, you know, um, what, what I find myself asking myself as this, like, how am I going to do this? You know? And, and it's scary to me. And it's, it's the same slot that I have. How am I going to be an actor? How am I going to be a producer? You know? Um, but I know that if I put my heart into it, I can do it. Um, and I think that I attack it with balance and, um, you know, and I think there's an instant gratification [00:43:00] that we're all seeking these days, because everything is about instant gratification. Um, and what, I've, what, I've, what I've always been taught through these thoughts.

Speaker 3: And through these emotions on these, these, these processes is that patience, patience is one of the, and I'm a patient person. Um, I am patient with people, I'm patient with my friends and my family. Um, but I feel that I'm least impatient [00:43:30] with myself, uh, meaning, uh, you know, Hey, you're not where you're not where you want to be yet. You know what I mean? Um, so when it comes to me trying to figure out how to, how to be a dad, to two children, how to be a great husband, how to be a producer and have this steel house productions company, um, you know, I, I've got to just be patient. And, um, it's, it's, it's a hard, it's such a hard thing to do. Um, [00:44:00] because it's, it's a constant practice, you know, it's, it's, uh, you're patient one day and the next day you're super impatient.

Speaker 3: And then when you're inpatient for a week, and then it's like your patient for three weeks, and then it's like, uh, I gotta get this done out. Like it's got to happen now. It's like, just calm down. Like you're in process, you're in this journey, like, uh, my wife and I just, so going back to the five years that I've had, so five years [00:44:30] ago, I got, and so my wife and I, I asked my wife to marry me on the set of my first movie clown town in Cleveland. Right. So, and so from that moment, I asked my wife to marry me and set, uh, we got married. My first movie came out, I had a baby, I had a second baby. I made my second movie and I just bought my house and I just bought my house. So I just bought my house about [00:45:00] six months ago.

Speaker 3: And I did, I did a pretty big renovation. I did all, all new electrical, all new lighting, all new floors, about 40% new drywall. Um, I put a hundred percent new kitchen and I did all the work myself. I had my cousin come out and help me for six months or for six weeks, I should say. Um, but so in these five years, these are all big things that have happened in me. Right. And I'm looking back through this process and thinking, dude, like your journey [00:45:30] is so beautiful and you have so much to be grateful for. Like, you've done so much. And to some people, this is maybe a lifetime of work, right. For me, it's just my, my journey these last five years. And I know that I have so much more to offer this world and to inspire others with. Um, but, uh, you know, going through this process, it's, it's been crazy stressful, but to look back as, as kind of, and see [00:46:00] the big picture, like, wow, like this is cool, man.

Speaker 3: Like, you're doing everything you say you want to do. You want to build a house for your family? That's basically what I did. Um, and, and, and to say that I'm raising two kids and one of the most expensive cities in the world being a producer and owning a production company and being an actor and model like, that's, I know how hard that is. You're doing it, Brian. And like, I have to give my self, these motivational [00:46:30] pep talks, you know? Um, but, but, but kind of, again, I try to think about how can I relate to our listeners and like, because I know that like, Hey, listen, I have these fears. I have these anxieties, like everybody else, like, can I do this? Like, how long can I do this? Am I going to be able to put my kids through college? Like, you know, but I can't focus on the future and I can't focus on the past.

Speaker 3: I can only focus on the present and say, what can I do for my family today? What can I do for myself? [00:47:00] What can I do for my wife? What can I do for my production company? Um, you know, how can I inspire Tyler? How can I inspire, inspire his listeners? Um, you know, and how can I make a positive impact? So, um, you know, this journey has just been so incredible. Um, so, so yeah, I tend to take this on like this weird journey of you asked me a question, and then I go down this little rabbit holes and the answers. [00:47:30] I hope I'm offering some, some, some goodness to those. So,

Speaker 2: Oh yeah. I want to, I want to ask you about that, particularly because it seems like a lot of the rabbit holes you go down to are focused on putting attention on other people and being of service and adding value. So when you are in a stage of self doubt that you feel like you need to get yourself out of, it seems to me that that's your way of doing it. How can I help somebody else? [00:48:00] Um, are there, is, is that true? And are there other things that you do, like writing goals or lists or meditating or some practice that helps you overcome self doubt in those moments?

Speaker 3: Um, it's, it's all very true. It's all very true. Um, there is, I mean, there's a million tools out there that we can all use and I think every person has to find what tools use, what tools they can use to, to, um, to get through [00:48:30] their journey. Um, so yeah, meditation is a big thing for me, you know, health and fitness are like, so before I was married, health and fitness were like just one of the top echelons of, of my game. Right. I was, had the tightest six pack and I was running, you know, 30 to 50 miles a week and just eating spinach eggs and, um, you know, every single day for breakfast. And I mean, there's, there's so many facets [00:49:00] of life that I believe are important to constructing, um, a full life. Right. Um, so, so say your question again, cause I'm already down the rabbit hole on,

Speaker 2: Well, just like practice as you might have.

Speaker 3: So I think, I think some practices that I have are, you know, gratitude, you know, listing sometimes one of my practices is listing five [00:49:30] things that I'm grateful for either before I go to bed or when I wake up, um, in some of these moments that I do find myself struggling. I, I, I try and back to, um, this, this list of five things that I can be grateful for. Um, but I think, you know, health, health and fitness are so crucial. You know, I think so many people out there that struggle with some of these things. They don't realize that food is our medicine, [00:50:00] and if we're putting good food in our body, our bodies are going to feel good. If our bodies feel good, we're going to be able to accomplish more things that we want to accomplish, whether it's just being a good husband.

Speaker 3: And that means cleaning the house for your wife, you're going to have better energy to clean the house for your wife, if you're eating good shoot. Um, and I think it's so crucial to, to drive that point home with, um, with, with my people and try to inspire them through that. And, and granted [00:50:30] it's, it's been, you know, having two kids, um, and going through this, this most recent journey of buying a house on all this newness it's, it's, I'm, I'm still trying to find myself. I'm still trying to find my new rhythms. And some days I wake up and I feel like I'm in a rhythm, you know, I wake up, I, I get up and I do like a 20 minute stretch. I read, I like right now, I've been reading Wayne Dyer for the last year, which I'm not sure if you've heard of him, but he's an incredible

Speaker 2: [00:51:00] Teacher.

Speaker 3: Oh man. That's, that's incredible. A friend of mine back in college introduced me to them. And then here he is still with me, inspiring me. Um, so, you know, there's, there's so many tools out there for people to, to utilize. Whether it's you look up YouTube and just Google search, motivational speeches. Sometimes that gets me going in the day. Um, and sometimes it's a cup of coffee. Sometimes [00:51:30] it's my five, five points of gratitude. Sometimes it's a workout. Um, and some days, you know, I don't get to do anything, you know, and those days maybe I'm not my best, but I chugged through them. And I know that tomorrow is going to be another day. Um, I have, uh, I have a, a strong sense of faith that God has a plan for me. And what I'm doing is, is the right thing. So I, I try to [00:52:00] follow that path that God puts in front of me.

Speaker 3: And, you know, wherever that takes me is where I'm willing to go. Um, sometimes I think there's, um, people get so caught up in their ideas that, Hey, listen, I want to be an Instagram influencer and that's what I'm going to do. But God keeps telling you, Hey, listen, your calling is to be a YouTube YouTuber or to be a doctor or to be this, or, you know, so, [00:52:30] you know, I try to, I try to follow what signs he puts in front of me. Um, you know, and, and so there was a book I read called the Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, which I'm not sure if have you read it? I haven't

Speaker 2: Read it. I'm familiar slightly.

Speaker 3: Okay. It's, it's an incredible book, um, international bestseller, but one of the things of the guys in the story, he, he has these they're called omens, right? And these almonds are these signs from whoever [00:53:00] God, whatever you believe in the earth, the power, the energy that, that life puts in front of you. And if you look for the omens in life, you will see them. And right now my omens are my family. My family is what's in front of me. And it's like, that's what needs all my energy. So I'm putting so much energy into my family. So yeah, there's, that's, that's kind of, one of my that I, I look for is the omens in life. And that kind of is a guiding [00:53:30] a guiding star for me. Yeah,

Speaker 2: Yeah. That, um, I love that the, and what you said about, uh, I'm gonna, I, wouldn't not even gonna try to paraphrase it, but talking about like having to be open to seeing the omen, you know, without getting the blinders on that, you're going to be the Instagram influencer. If you detach yourself from that, you know, maybe the YouTube or the doctor route suddenly becomes the easy downstream, you know, hop in the canoe and you're their version of you if you're available to it [00:54:00] and open to it, which is really cool that you've made that acknowledgement and sharing it. But I want to ask you a couple of short answer questions, like, like Chad parenthood, short answers, what's an impact that your kids have made on you.

Speaker 3: That's a tough question because, because there's been so many impacts, if there was one strong impact and it was, and it's the first thing that comes to my mind. I think it's just that man, there's, it's hard for my [00:54:30] brain to stick on one impactful thing is to just be in the moment. I think that's, that's where it's at. You just be in this moment right now, right now, I'm here with Tyler. Just talk to him, just speak from your heart. Be, be, you know, let it flow, just be in the moment. Cause kids are always in the moment, you know, they might you off and they might be in a bad mood, a bad mood, but then literally three seconds later, they forgot about that bad mood. They let go of all that emotion that was tied in that baggage. And they're just back in that moment and [00:55:00] they're playing with their toys and they're loving their dad, you know, it's like, they don't care that you just yelled at them. They're like, I'm so happy. You're my dad. Like, it's all good. So, and I think that, you know, that that's where we need to be is in this moment because that's all you have the past is the past the future who knows. And if you're just enjoying this moment of the sunshine talking to you, you can only be in your best state of mind. You know? So

Speaker 2: Yeah. Grant Cardone [00:55:30] is

Speaker 3: No, I don't not yet.

Speaker 2: Yeah. He's a real estate guy, a really bombastic, uh, uh, personality. But he said something that totally resonated with me that might make sense to you as an entrepreneur, that like somebody asked him, how much time do you spend with your kids? And he said, a hundred percent of my time. He said, how much on your business? You said a hundred percent of my time. So when I'm in my business, it's got a hundred percent of me when I'm with my family, it's got a hundred percent of me. And that just feels like that's another way of what [00:56:00] you said that made sense to me. So what's, uh, what is as well having a two-year-old and a newborn, what's your role as a father now?

Speaker 3: Um, I think my, you know, I was reading Wayne the other day and, um, one of his, he, he talks a lot about the Dao and one of the principles in the is, is just kind of letting things happen and that's the very simple way to put it. But, [00:56:30] um, I think my point is, is that even in being a father, you know, I think people see control in life. And I think sometimes, you know, they say that you just have to let go, and life has a way of working itself out, whether it's with your relationships, with your children or with your wife or whoever. And I think I have to, um, apply that to how I deal with my children too, is that, you know, they're, they are [00:57:00] their own people and I'm merely here to guide them and give them a hand when they say, dad, can you help me and dad, how am I going to do this?

Speaker 3: Well, here's how I would do it. You could do it that way, or you could do it your own way, you know, because, um, the older we get as more experienced adults, it's like, you can't change people. And, you know, w when it comes to children, you're merely there to be their, their guide and their, their cornerstone [00:57:30] that when they're hurt, when they're sad, you're there, when they're happy or they're glad, or they are going through whatever, you're there. You know? So, um, that's my, my role is literally just to provide support in any way that they need support, whether it's they need food or they need love, or they need discipline or guidance or whatever it is. Um, so I'm trying [00:58:00] to still navigate, um, how the chemistry works in the family with the new child and, and how the chemistry works between the two sisters. And, um, but it's working itself out so beautifully. And, um, so I, yeah, I, I think what I'm here to do is just, is just be a vessel for them to achieve their life. You know, their life, their life [00:58:30] is, has its own direction, its own goals. And if there's something that I can do to facilitate those goals or to, um, you know, propagate them, then that's what I'm going to do. I just, I just have to water the plants and they grow, you know, so

Speaker 2: That's awesome. Something that's important to me is resilience. How do you think you can teach children to be resilient?

Speaker 3: I think resilient is such a brilliant word, Tyler. Um, my dad is he's one of the most resilient men in the world. I don't know how your dad is, but to [00:59:00] me, my dad is he's my definition of resilience. So that's one thing that I'm trying to exemplify, you know, for my children, because I know how that as a child, how I perceive that resilience of my father. Um, and, and I want to be that for my children. And I think, you know, it's important to, to me, what resilience means for my children is being consistent, right? It's, it's giving my children the time that they need. It's giving them the inspiration they need [00:59:30] when they need it. It's giving them the tools they need when they need those tools, um, to go on their journey. So that resilience, um, it, it will, I, I think that that's one thing that I'm working on is, is, is trying to be a resilient father. Um, and I think that means consistency. I think that means, um, it means a lot. Um, that's [01:00:00] a big word when it comes to being a father is resiliency and, and I never really thought about it maybe until right now, but it's, it's, it resides in what I do and, and how I do things.

Speaker 2: So what's, uh, what's the greatest hope that you have for your children?

Speaker 3: I think it's just that, and I think one of your, one of your other guests had had mentioned this is, is just to reach their potential, you know, so I think that [01:00:30] my job in life is to reach my potential. Right. And my potential is essentially limitless, you know, just like everybody's is. Um, and, um, my wife just stepped outside. It's making me smile. Come say hi. Yeah, you can come say hi. Um, so we were talking about a potential. So I think the goal as there's, there's the new, my wife, Jessica. [01:01:00] Hi

Speaker 2: Jessica. And what's your baby's

Speaker 3: Name? That's baby Savannah. Seven and a half pounds. So, um, yes, she's incredible. Um, so I think reaching the potential, and I think that it's my goal for my children to reach their full potential. But I think that isn't just, you know, I've thought about this in a lot of different ways reaching potential. And I think it kind of reiterated when, when you talked about what was one of your previous [01:01:30] guests is, is it's my job to hold my wife accountable for her to reach her potential as a mom, as a nurse, as, as whoever she wants to be, it's my job to help her facilitate reaching her potential as a friend, it's my job to help my friends reach their potential. It's my job to, um, hold myself accountable to reach my potential, but it's also my job to help my kids reach their potential, whether it is at three or five.

Speaker 3: And, [01:02:00] and it's, you know, your potential is always changing. Um, I think as you grow and as you, um, learn, um, so I think that if I can do anything to help them reach their potential, whether it is, you know, if they want to be a math person, how do I, how do I help facilitate? So, um, it's, it's a hard thing, but it, and I think one of the hardest things about trying to help people reach their potential is sometimes acknowledging [01:02:30] the truth. You know, um, it's a hard thing to say, Hey, listen, you know what, Brian, uh, you weren't meant to be a pilot. You know, it's a hard realization, but it was the truth. And, um, you know, if you can tell your friends the truth or tell your children the truth, sometimes it's a hard truth. Um, but you can do it in loving way with patients and soft guidance. You know, it, it will maybe make them blossom into that next level of [01:03:00] potential that, that they, that they are meant for. You know?

Speaker 2: Um, so here's, here's this, one's a watermelon for you. Who is your TV dad?

Speaker 3: Oh boy. Um, you know, I heard you ask this before and I'm thinking who the heck is my favorite TV dad. Um, because I have a couple of different answers, you know, Bryan Cranston in breaking bad. He's just like, he's like the coolest, bad dad, you know, [01:03:30] like in that sense that if you're going to have a drug Lord, dad, you want him to be your dad. Um, and then there's, um, you know, like I think of like the Bob Saget, you know, in a full house, you know, he's just like that charming, like sweet, like caring dye. He's always got that like positive voice, you know, whether or not he's that way in real life. But I grew up watching that show. Um, [01:04:00] you know, so I think that, I don't know, I don't know if I even have like this, because I don't know.

Speaker 3: There was never a dad that really resonated with me in film and TV. And that sounds weird because I work in film and TV. Um, but yeah, I mean, there's, there's so many, there's so many great. Yeah. The other thing about me is, so for somebody who works in film [01:04:30] and TV, you could be like, Hey, do you remember this movie? I don't remember movies. I don't remember. I remember faces, I remember experiences. Um, but it's weird. Like people are like, oh, do you remember, uh, John Snow and game of Thrones now I do now because I watched that show, but you asked me in five years, I'm like John Snow, John. I, you know, I don't remember. Um, and people like you work in, it's so weird, but it's like, I think of my brain as a brain that is just like, [01:05:00] it's stuck in the present.

Speaker 3: It's weird. It's so weird. And I almost think of it as a deficiency. My wife, my wife can remember a scene in a movie from 30 years ago and she'll be like, how do you not remember this? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. It's just like, it's, it's just like one of my PR my character flaws, you know? Um, so, so that's like a really hard question for me. Like, oh, who's your favorite character in a movie? I'm like, ah, you know, like, you know, I obviously have some of these [01:05:30] things for sure. Uh, written down and, and in, in cemented in my brain. But as far as TV dads go, you know, there's, there's a couple that stick out. Um, but yeah, it's not like there's one, who's just like, oh, Homer Simpson, you know, so,

Speaker 2: And one had done a little bit from everybody. So if you were writing a book about your life as a parent, what would the name of one or two of the chapters be?

Speaker 3: [01:06:00] Um, so I think one of, one of the chapters would be just go with it. You know, life takes you in all kinds of crazy directions and your kids are going to put you in thing in situations that you've never seen yourself in my daughter swallowed a screw like a month ago, two months ago now, like it was in construction, it was a small one and he didn't have a super sharp pointy end, but just such a scary moment. And it was like, [01:06:30] I saw the screw sitting on the table. Uh, my wife saw it, our grandparents saw it and it was just one of those things. Like it hit me, but it never like, like, oh my, you know, it's like, you can't get every little pebble out of the yard. You can't get every little choking hazard out of her, her, her path.

Speaker 3: Um, sometimes you just got to go with things. Um, you know, I think that would definitely be a P a chapter about patients, um, resilience stay, um, [01:07:00] you know, gratitude, you know, I think just balance, you know, the, those are some of my core guiding principles in life. And I think that, you know, being a father is it's, it's in you, you know, people are like, how do you, how do you be a dad? It's like, well, I don't know. I just, I might, I'm being a dad because it's in me, you know, it's, it's my natural instinct. And so I think some of my life guiding principles are what I try to infuse into [01:07:30] my father, my father hood, um, experience, you know, I try to put those into being a dad and try to instill those into being a child. So I think that those are probably, you know, the guiding principle boss I've talked about. Those would be some of the guiding principles in my book.

Speaker 2: Uh, this is a question I got from Lewis house. Um, when do you feel the most loved

Speaker 3: When I'm with my kids, when I'm with my kids. And [01:08:00] you know, when I wake up in the morning and my daughter says she calls me Gaga, a for some reason, she doesn't want to say dada. She says Gaga. And when she smiles and says Gaga, and she's, she's watching this movie, her obsession right now. So movie trolls, I don't know if you're right, cause I've seen it, but you know, the trolls just love. They sing and dance and hug and they have a thing called hug time. And so my daughter comes up to me and she says hog time. And I mean, the amount [01:08:30] of emotion that just flourishes in my body when she says she wants to give me a hug, it's like, it's, it's like nothing I've ever experienced. Um, the love from a child is so pure. It's I think that's maybe that's what makes it so special. You know, you have love from your partners, from your friends, from your family, but those have all been maybe convoluted through life's experiences. But the love of a child is just [01:09:00] so pure. They don't, they don't see your flaws. They don't see, they see nothing but your heart and they just love it. And it's, it's such a moment of glory when you can have your kids just smile at you. And, and, uh, in now it's so special.

Speaker 2: It's so special. They're just

Speaker 3: Express it's every, every everything goes out the window. And, um, you know, one thing I was like thinking about is, you [01:09:30] know, growing up in LA and I'm not sure what it's like, where you are, but LA isn't the most family friendly environment. And it's like, I find myself all the time, like promoting family and kids, right. Because I feel like it has so much to offer. And it teaches you so many lessons about life and it teaches you the basic lessons. And if people, I think people are like, oh, kids are so much work and all this stuff, but like everything in life input is [01:10:00] input equals output and what you put into them, you get out of them, you know what I mean? The love you put in, you get back the things you teach them, they teach you, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3: Um, so, so I'm always like a proponent to like to tell people, like, if you're thinking about having a kid and you're worried about what we're all worried about, whether or not you can afford them or whether or not you can teach them, give them love and do all this, you can do it. [01:10:30] You know, I'm here to be like, Hey, listen, you know, it doesn't matter about overpopulating this world. It's okay. Like kids are a beautiful thing. Um, and, and, and try it because, you know, I just have nothing but good things to say about being a dad.

Speaker 2: All right. So this is the billboard question. You know, the billboard question, you gotta go ahead. Yeah. What's the, what's the highway out there?

Speaker 3: [01:11:00] Uh, well we got the 4 0 5 and the 1 0 1. Those are the big ones.

Speaker 2: You're on the 4 0 5. You get a billboard, you know, a normal sized billboard to share Brian's to all dads out there. One piece of advice it's got to fit on the billboard, even though you're in stop and go, you gotta be able to read it at 90 miles an hour.

Speaker 3: Uh, well, if, if I can't put my movies on a billboard

Speaker 3: And I [01:11:30] had a message to give somebody, um, love love is like, it's, I talk about the cornerstones of who I am and what I do. And, um, I think that if you can kind of sum up that gratitude, if you can sum up that patience, if you can kind of sum up, um, you know, some of those, those things that are so important about being a dad, if you can just take that moment of frustration [01:12:00] that you have with your child and, and bring love, if you can, um, you know, teach them with love, if you can feed them good food with love. Um, you know, that is, is to me, such a big solution, um, to almost any problem you can attack almost any problem with love and find a way to, to, to solve it. So I think it's just, it's two words [01:12:30] give love.

Speaker 3: And when you give love, you get love too, you know, it's, but it's not about what you get it's about what you give. Um, but I think that the more love that you give, um, and there's, there's so much being a parent is so much, but that billboard, you know, time is one of the most important things you can give a child. And I really wanted to say that today. [01:13:00] Um, but I think that that also is kind of filtered in through give love, you know, if you're giving love, you're giving your time. So just give love to your children. Um, and I think love is something that is instinctual it's in all of us. Um, and I think that if it's something you continually work on, you can give more and you can, you know, um, you can grow that love. So it's something that I continually work on, um, you know, attack those, those moments of frustration [01:13:30] with loss. And, um, and I think you'll find yourself better off in the end.

Speaker 2: Couldn't agree more. I think that's a great answer. Um, if you had no constraints, no restrictions, but you could give a gift to every father on the planet. What could every father have?

Speaker 3: Hm. [01:14:00] Um, you know, I don't know that there's one tool that we could all use, um, because I haven't found a tool that I've a physical tool. What I found to be the most successful tool that I've been given is probably just, just my heart and my brain. Um, you know, and, and just that mentality that, uh, if you're giving your time and your [01:14:30] love, then you're giving them everything. Um, so I, I think the one tool is just to try to find another, another moment of love to give your children. I don't even really know if that's a clear answer. Um, but I think it's tailored off of what we've been talking about, you know?

Speaker 2: Yeah. It's a great answer. And actually that long pause prior to my asking that question was a result of my thinking about asking [01:15:00] you another one, which this continued to be a good segue into. So I'm just going to ask it. Um, but I think in order to give love, you probably have to be vulnerable in order to give love. And I think that vulnerability, the fear of vulnerability is, uh, um, maybe overstated. I think that the fear that people have associated with opening themselves up to give love, shouldn't be as big [01:15:30] as it is. And I understand it, but I'd like to hear your thoughts.

Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't, I don't think many, as many people understand vulnerability as maybe you do. It's a big, big thing. I don't think a lot of people understand vulnerability maybe in the way that you do. And I think that there's as men in this modern day and age, there's always a level of masculinity that has to be attained. Um, but I think there's a certain, a certain [01:16:00] value to everything. And I think that vulnerability plays a large role in giving that love, like everything, it's a practice, it's a practice and the more we practice it, the better we can get it, doing those things and learning how to harness those skills. So I think practicing vulnerability is a big thing. And, and I can think about that when it comes to my relationship with my wife, sometimes, you know, she chooses to be the alpha and she makes the decisions.

Speaker 3: [01:16:30] And sometimes I do, you know, and it's that, that symbiotic relationship of finding the balance and the flow of things of when do I need to be a vulnerable dad and when do I need to be a vulnerable husband, vulnerable friend, and just be completely open, completely honest to giving love and to be accepting of whatever this person's going to tell me, because I know there's going to be things down the road to my daughter's telling me that I do not want to hear [01:17:00] whether it was, they have a boyfriend or, you know, they've done, they've done something that they didn't want, they didn't mean to do, or they regret, you know, and so I have to be vulnerable to those situations and, and that vulnerability is going to give, given, give me the openness to present that love in the situation that is needed to say, Hey, listen, I know you went out there, you hurt that person.

Speaker 3: It's okay. Here's [01:17:30] what we need to think about and how we need to approach it from here. What are your thoughts? I think that the masculine and the feminine need a balance in life. And I try to find that balance personally, and a big part of that, that balance is the vulnerability. And I think maybe that's more the feminine energy in life, but I try to explore that personally. And I find a lot of, a lot of success in when I present vulnerability to my business relationships [01:18:00] or friendships or with my children that I can really connect and really, really dive into those situations and bring out whatever it is that needs to be brought out. So really, really good point on bringing vulnerability up because it's something that's so, so powerful. And we don't talk about enough.

Speaker 2: Yeah. I think, uh, being open to feedback and being vulnerable is probably one of my, the biggest things that I have to actively pursue. [01:18:30] And I, that's probably part of this process of why motivated to have conversations like this. And, um, um, I'm grateful for your spin on it. And anything that you would tell me directly to help me be more vulnerable and open to feedback with my wife, particularly because I'm, I got a big ego that gets in the way, despite my trying to just be open and all of the feedback,

Speaker 3: I think, you know, when, when I'm, when I'm in those situations [01:19:00] and I feel challenged, you know, sometimes there was a, there was a saying that was given to me years back, and it was sometimes being the best leader is being the best follower. And what that means to me is, you know, if, if I'm, if I'm, if I'm alpha male be right under alpha male, a right. Some I know that I can, I can get a lot of what I want to accomplish in life by, by [01:19:30] if the other let's say the leader is, he's got this idea where he wants to go here and he's always going to come to me as his secondary leader to ask my advice. And I know that that's somehow, sometimes that's the way that I, I can get what I want. I don't want to say I get what I want in life, because it's not about that, but I can, I can achieve things by inspiring the leaders right around me.

Speaker 3: And I think that's [01:20:00] how I, I have grown to become a leader, but specifically, and I think it takes a bit of to say, you know what, I'm just going to, I'm happy with being second command right now. I know that the, my time, it might not be right in this moment, but I'll have my time to be, to be number one when it comes to my wife, you know, I, I just have this mentality and this thing that says to me, like if she asks something to me, like I've got to do it, you know, because [01:20:30] she's not asking because she's not the type of person who's going to ask me to do something because she just is a jerk. She's asking me to do it because she thinks is what needs to be done. You know? So I have to respect that. Um, and I think the first thing that, that, that hit me to, to give to you was this, in those moments of un-clarity is to just stop for a second, take a breath, recenter yourself, and then go back [01:21:00] into the situation and say, Hey, okay. And it might bring back, it might bring about a moment of clarity and understanding, oh, okay. Now I get it. Now I understand why, you know, just take a breath and, uh, soak in that moment. And hopefully that will bring a little bit more vulnerability into you. Um, and again, you'll find that balance and that flow to, to keep you moving.

Speaker 2: That's [01:21:30] really profound. I think you just verbalized the moments that I've had that were successful in being vulnerable or being vulnerable first, because sometimes when you get two egos going at it, somebody's got to step back first. And when it is me, that steps back first it's because I did do what you just said, take the breath, step away from the circumstance and then reenter it with a new perspective. That's awesome. Thank you for that. Um, so this will be my last question, [01:22:00] but first, thank you so much for your time, Brian, awesome. Talking with you. Tons of tons of wonderful things in the event, this recording continues on forever and your kids get to hear it, their kids get to hear you get to speak directly to them. Any messages, advice, or just thoughts, concerns, questions, comments, any,

Speaker 3: Uh, well, first I want to say thank you to you because I know how hard it is, what you do. Um, you know, you're, you're an entrepreneur, you've got your own thing going. And what you're [01:22:30] also trying to do is make a more positive impact in the world, besides just bringing a pay home a paycheck home every week. And, you know, that's, that's a big thing. And some that I personally struggle with is, you know, I'm, I focus on financial sometimes, um, a little too much. Um, and I want to be, I want to, you know, there's so many things that I want to be in life and inspiration is just my biggest thing that I want to be. But, but looking through your [01:23:00] page and through your website and to what you do and who you are it's, and I'm here to say, thank you for inspiring me.

Speaker 3: Um, because I can now think back, um, in moments in my life of, of, of what's going to bring me to the next place. And you're a part of that. So I thank you for that. Um, and if there's something that I can leave, you know, I think I've kind of put it all out on the table. And, um, you know, if my kids are gonna listen [01:23:30] to this, let's say 20 years, the only thing I have to say is, I love you guys. And, uh, I hope that you are living a life that you want to live and that you're creating the friendships and relationships, um, that are valuable to you, you know, and, and just continue to give love and be patient with life. And, you know, it's a journey, enjoy that journey because everybody's on it. And, [01:24:00] you know, there's, there's so much that life has to offer and just continue to seek and you can find

Speaker 2: That's awesome. Brian Nagel, check him out on a, I am DB, check him out on Instagram, check out toy box. Um, tell me that. I'm sorry. Clown town.

Speaker 3: Yeah. And, uh, you know, there's always the Katy Perry video. If you want me to get a good laugh.

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