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Learning to Dad with Tyler Ross 037 - Jacob Musyt

Speaker 2: All right. It's on [00:00:30] Tyler Ross here, Jacob, Musa it on the other end. How you doing bro?

Speaker 3: Doing great. How are you

Speaker 2: Doing great, man. It's nice to see you. Thanks for taking the time to hang out here on the real old podcast.

Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely. Thanks for having me.

Speaker 2: Yeah. So like we talked about, um, you know, we're going to talk about your work, your, your family, how you've managed to kind of Excel being involved in both of them. And, uh, so let's, let's start about the, you know, let's [00:01:00] start, you know, about what you're doing now, and then we'll work up to how you got there. So tell me sure. You're in LA, you left Virginia. We know each other because I feel like we'd gotten to spend a lot of time together if we'd actually met five minutes before you left.

Speaker 3: Yeah, probably. Yeah. Yeah, no, I just, uh, was in Virginia and moved, uh, out here. I'm the director of food and beverage at the Waldorf Astoria in Beverly Hills. So I pretty much run. We have, uh, two John George restaurants, [00:01:30] um, lounges, banquet events, five kitchens. So I kind of oversee and run all of, all of that from the chefs to the service staff, to the management team for food and beverage. So, uh, that's what I do out here. And, um, I have a wife, a two year old and I have a son that will be here in a week from tomorrow,

Speaker 2: Or you got a lot going on.

Speaker 3: Yeah. So there's a lot going on. Yeah,

Speaker 2: I'm excited. I don't, I haven't talked to anybody yet. It's kind of like a baby. Do any [00:02:00] second, like Ashley could go into labor right now and you gotta pick up the go bag and we're going to have to,

Speaker 3: Yeah, we just, we just got back from the hospital, our last final checkup before Showtime.

Speaker 2: So you got a name picked out for your boy.

Speaker 3: Yeah. And I can't tell you definitely not over a podcast.

Speaker 2: Cool. Well, so tell me, I mean, Beverly Hills Waldorf is story of food and beverage manager. You've got all these people that you're accountable for. Um, [00:02:30] I mean, I got to know how you end up getting into that position because that sounds like a really high level position.

Speaker 3: So I pretty much, I started in food and beverage and hot and hospitality and hotels when I was, I think, 15, uh, in Roanoke, Virginia, actually working for the hotel Roanoke, which is like the biggest and one of the best hotels in Roanoke. Um, so I just started doing it. I fell in love with it and I kind of, I went to culinary school in Colorado. I've worked in all over the [00:03:00] country and opened up some hotels, opened up a couple of small restaurants, one in Chicago, one in Denver. Um, and I kind of just climb my ladder, just grabbing experience after experience kind of figuring out how I could learn more, how I could put myself in a situation where I could be challenged and learn more. And I just kind of grew and started managing a different restaurants and operations, um, from room service, uh, as a room service manager, I was bar lounge manager, restaurant manager, uh, worked in banquets [00:03:30] and kind of worked my way up.

Speaker 3: And, uh, with Hilton, I was, I've been with them for about 15 years, uh, left for awhile and, but in the middle there, but, um, they moved me from Virginia to Chicago to start my management career off, got a lot of experience move from Chicago to park city. Utah was the, uh, director of food and beverage there at the Waldorf. Astoria came back to DC area. Was it Mandarin Oriental worked at the salamander resort, right outside of Warrington right there in Middleburg, Virginia. And then from there, I [00:04:00] moved up to the Waldorf in Beverly Hills. So it's just been kind of a ladder, just reaching and grabbing experiences and challenges and pushing myself, uh, to keep climbing up. So

Speaker 2: It sounds like you've kind of known what you wanted to do since you were 15. Like it grabbed you right away. If you starting kinda on the bottom wrong and chipping away until you got to where you are now, is that fair to say like, did you want to get

Speaker 3: Well, when I first started, my mom kind of forced me to get this job when [00:04:30] I was in high school. Uh, but then my first I was working a banquet event and literally we just, we put on a party, that's what we did. We worked all day to get everything prepared and prepped and the room was ready and there was a band and there was bars and there was like, it was just cool. Right? It was when the doors opened up and this whole wedding party came in and the band is crank in and everyone's drinking and there's cocktails being made kind of like, holy, holy cow, I'm putting on a party right now. I'm getting paid and this is fun. I'm like, this is it. This is what I want to do. And then I kind of wanted to learn. I just kinda started [00:05:00] growing and getting more exposed to all kinds of different stuff in hotels. And, uh, yeah, I mean, I serve celebrities. I have people like alias celebrities call my cell phone all the time. Um, looking for table reservations that are rooftop. And it's just, it's at the point now where it's kind of, it's still fun. Everything I do is fun. It's challenging. It's hard. It's demanding, I work 12 hour shifts, five, six days a week, but it's so much fun and that's, that's why I'm in it. And that's why I'm still doing it.

Speaker 2: Tell me about like the, the climbing that ladder. I'd imagine you've got a lot of peers [00:05:30] that, you know, like ups the, if I understand that if you want to be in a, uh, an executive vice president, you got to start on the, on the, uh, on the truck delivering packages. So you've got, gotta kind of see how the hot dog gets made before you can run the entire show. Like you feel like that adds a lot of advantage to your experience in the food and Beth.

Speaker 3: Yeah. But when you're managing people and you're managing and creating experiences and like really you're curating someone's emotions in what we do. Right. [00:06:00] Cause I mean, everyone can tell you a story about a bad time. They went out to eat or everyone has an opinion about food and beverage and what they like, or they don't like food network is out there. So everyone's a chef, everyone's a professional. So we're kind of managing in this world where the more experience you have, the better you are at the end of the day, if you can make decisions smarter, you can kind of predict and be more proactive when it comes to what guests are looking for, what they're not looking for, how situations are going to play out with staff. So [00:06:30] I feel like the more experience you have, the better you are going to be, and the faster you can grow, I guess, for me to run and manage five restaurant managers, room service managers, chefs, cooks servers, hosts, bartenders, reservationists all these people.

Speaker 3: For me, it was very important for me to actually be in those roles. So I understand what they go through. Um, so I was a room service manager. I was a server. I was a restaurant manager. I was, I did all those things. So I understand where they're coming from. And in a hotel, I also [00:07:00] was the director of housekeeping. So I understood what that side of the hotel is doing. So in relation to what we are in food and beverage and how they operate. So for me, it was all about getting experiences. So I can manage those departments effectively better. And I could see that side of the fence, I guess, then I could make a decision better for them because I understand what they're going through and I can help them through it and help them grow. So for me, it was all about getting as much experience in every position I could and then it would help me make better decisions [00:07:30] as I grew

Speaker 2: Really cool. And it makes perfect sense to me too. What was your first kind of felt like your first big position in hospitality, food and beverage hotels?

Speaker 3: I was the assistant red. I was assistant in room dining manager for the Hilton O'Hare in Chicago.

Speaker 2: Gotcha. So what, knowing what you know now, what would you tell yourself then to have made you better

Speaker 3: Suck it up? Yeah. Yeah. Well, when you're young [00:08:00] and you're in this business or in any business you want to grow fast, you want to, and it's hard. It's not easy. It's hard. You have to do when your overnight room service guy calls out, you have to come in and work the shift. Right. Cause there's probably nobody else you're going to get. And it's, it's hard. So it's kind of, I was told by my director of food and beverage at the time, this was a long time ago, but he said, you have to go through the gauntlet to get to where I'm at. And it was challenging. It was hard, but, um, just suck it up. Yeah. I, I think that's probably what I would tell myself [00:08:30] because it wasn't easy. It was very tough. You will go in through a line level management in a hotel like that. And it is that competitive city like Chicago, uh, it's not easy, a 1500 room hotels or 1500, uh, guest rooms in the hotel. Uh, if there's weather anywhere in the, in the country, it affects that airport. So we would go from having a hundred guests in the hotel to 1500 rooms, sold out all looking for somewhere to all ordering room service. And it was very, it was a challenging hotel. Um, but it gave me a lot [00:09:00] of experience. I would just say, suck it up, pay attention.

Speaker 2: Yeah, that's unbelievable. I think that that kind of thing doesn't even occur to me. Um, so was Chicago probably the most challenging that kind of circumstance,

Speaker 3: Uh, that hotel was, I mean, every hotel has its own circumstance and situation and challenge, but that hotel was, it was the business, the volume of business that would turn on a dime, but we, it was, we had one of, this is a funny story, but we had one weekend where [00:09:30] there was bad weather across the country. The ho the airport was shut down. There was a tornado that hopped over the runway. So everything was shut down. The whole entire area lost power. You couldn't get into an elevator to go to the 13th floor, 14th floor. So we had 200 people sleeping on the floor of the lobby. We had like all kinds. It was just this crazy situation where there was a hundred thousand people in this airport and had nowhere to go. Um, so we had, uh, you know, we didn't have any power, so we couldn't cook cause we couldn't turn the gas on. Cause we couldn't turn [00:10:00] the hood system on in the kitchens. So we're making sandwiches and salads for thousands of people trying to make sure people get fed in the lobby of the hotel. Um, yeah, there's different, you know, different situations. Um, and that hotel was, it was very unique. It was a cool experience.

Speaker 2: It sounds to me like despite you're really, you know, on a business card, really impressive, uh, you know, uh, resume and title that you have to be willing to go in there and like, get your, get your hands dirty. Um, [00:10:30] so can you speak a little bit about, um, the, the ego and the industry and where that needs to be to be successful?

Speaker 3: You have to be confident that's for sure. I guess, I mean, when you're making a decision right now, I don't, I don't, I hope it's not too much ego, but you had to be confident when you're making a decision that affects, potentially affects 200 employees and then it'll affect a guest or number of people that are paying thousands of dollars to stay in the hotel. And, [00:11:00] um, you know, your decisions do affect a lot of things, uh, and they do make a big impact. So you have to be confident. Um, I hope I don't have a big ego. Uh, I, I've always worked with a lot of people that have egos that, you know, a lot of executive chefs over my, the span of my career. And, um, they work really hard to get where they're at and to get that title. And I think there's some ego that is, uh, rewarded when you get to that point. Um, for [00:11:30] me, the, I make a mistake every day. There's always something I can do better. So I, uh, I hope I don't have a big ego, but you have to be confident for sure in order to be able to make a decision, uh, on the diamond, something happens, you have to act. And I think if you don't have any confidence, it's gonna be pretty tough.

Speaker 2: Do that. So it is that confidence born out of experience or do you fake it till you make it? Or how do you think you get to that level of confidence? I've

Speaker 3: Tried to it until you make it. I didn't make it. Uh, I've made a lot of mistakes. I've made a lot of decisions I shouldn't have made. Um, but as [00:12:00] I grew in my career, you learn and you make those mistakes, those mistakes that you make, those decisions that didn't work out and you just learn next time you have a situation similar to that. You, you pull your experience and you pull those, those life, just, you know, those life decisions out of your hat and you make the appropriate decision to, hopefully it works out better in the end. And I think I've, I've done that. I've worked with a lot of amazing people, um, and a lot of

Speaker 2: Great leaders that have a different style or a different way of doing things. And I've kind of pulled a lot from all of those individuals [00:12:30] to kind of create my own leadership style. So yeah, just between learning, making mistakes, uh, learning from a lot of other people and their mistakes and, um, yeah, and then making my own decisions later. So yeah, I think over the, over the span of the last, almost 20 years in this business, um, yeah, I've learned a lot from a lot of different things. So when you've got a phone, a mistake and you got to report to, I guess it's the general manager that you might report to, like how, how do you approach a general [00:13:00] manager? How would you recommend somebody, you know, that you're grooming for your position report to a general manager, a mistake that was made by your department.

Speaker 3: Oh, and the mistake 100%, uh, you shouldn't be, you could be disappointed in yourself, but you shouldn't be ashamed or embarrassed that a mistake happened or something happened out of your control or you made the wrong decision. Um, cause it's going to happen. No, one's going to hire Tyler Ross to be flawless and never [00:13:30] make a mistake. Um, you would just play the stock market for a week and you'd be fine. So, I mean, it's just not realistic. It doesn't happen. Um, so if you go in and you own the mistake, it's like for me, the kind of analogy of you, you could, you could steal a cookie from the cookie jar and wait for your mom to find out, or you could tell your mom, you know, Hey FYI, I made it, I stole a cookie from the cookie jar. It'll be less severe. Right. Um, so I, I kind of, that's how I look at it. If you make a mistake, own it, learn from [00:14:00] it and just don't make the mistake again. But be honest,

Speaker 2: Have you changed the way that you come back from your own setbacks versus a younger man to the mature man that you are today?

Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, you know what I just said, I learned that probably the hard way in a lot of different situations, but, uh, I think it's, yeah. I mean, yeah, younger me, I would have taken a whole cookie jar and I would, if I hit it, you know what I mean? [00:14:30] But, uh, yeah, I mean, now it's, it's, I want to under, if I make a mistake or if something doesn't go as well as it should, I really want to understand why I've become a lot more analytical over the past 10, 15 years, whether that's looking at the financial side of the business or just understanding of promotion or event that I did and what I could have done next time. I want to know what I could have done better and I want to dig deep. So I don't make the mistake again, or I can end my staff. My managers learn from me as well. I want to be, I don't want to hide [00:15:00] anything from them. I want them to see that I can make a mistake. And I don't know if I would have done that 10 years ago, but, or have been more, uh, intrigued with trying to figure out why something happened. But I think it just kind of happens. I don't know.

Speaker 2: I get that, but all, all the talk about cookies makes me feel like we got to give a shout out to red truck bakery with,

Speaker 3: Well, I said, you know, if I wear this hat, maybe they'll send me the, the, uh, I think the pumpkin muffin recipe.

Speaker 2: [00:15:30] You hear that? Brian, you got to send Jacob the pumpkin muffin recipe and you'll distribute it throughout Hilton. Probably.

Speaker 3: I, I can't do that. It'll be, it'll be in my house only on the holidays. I'll probably be, I'll probably bake it off more than he does.

Speaker 2: Uh, Brian noise send, send me the recipe. I'll forward it to Jacob and we'll keep it all in-house. Yeah. So, uh, so in addition to learning from experienced, you have other ways that you learn reading books, watching videos, uh, going to [00:16:00] conferences, things like that.

Speaker 3: Yeah. I had a general manager, um, maybe 13 years ago and he was kind of obsessed with reading leadership books. And so then I kind of like, I started reading a book by Jim Collins called good to great, um, which is a great read. And, uh, I read all of his books and I kind of started looking for other books. I do read a lot of books. Um, I don't know everything. So another perspective I'm reading a book right now called the effective executive, [00:16:30] which yeah, it's a pretty good book. Right? So I'll I'll road bike. Like today I'll do 25 or 30 miles on the road bike and put that on and just listened to that for a couple hours. Um, or I I've, I'm in a car for an hour, so I'll listen to a few podcasts here and there about financial stuff.

Speaker 3: I'll do a book on tape, but yeah, I definitely read books. Um, I don't really go to seminars. I don't, I've had the opportunity to see a few people that have come to the hotels. I work at like Jim Collins. He actually came to the [00:17:00] Mandarin Oriental in DC when I worked there and I got to kind of sneak into the back of the ballroom and listened to his, his talk. He talked to, um, this large corporation who was a guest speaker and I got to hear the last 15 or 20 minutes of his, his speech, which was pretty awesome. So, um, but I don't actively go out and, and go to things like that or conferences B uh, typically we'll do like a global conference every four years or so. Where a lot of the F and B directors in the company and executive chefs will go somewhere.

Speaker 3: Uh, when I was with Mandarin Oriental, we went to Thailand and went to Bangkok for a week [00:17:30] where there was nine Michelin chefs. There was, um, CEOs of, of like lobster Inc the training company and, you know, people from the Michelin guide were there and Forbes. And a lot of we ate a lot of food, um, drink a lot of really great beverage and had a lot of really good conversations and like seminars with these, these people in the industry that are in, you know, they're visionaries. They're the top of the top from like Thomas Keller to grant Achatz from Chicago. All these guys were there and it was, that was an amazing experience. [00:18:00] But I actively look out and read books and try to find new ways of learning.

Speaker 2: So when you go to something like that, I imagine you meet a whole lot of peers. Do you find a lot of common ground in terms of, uh, disposition and work history, or do you find this kind of a smattering of all sorts?

Speaker 3: Um, it is kind of a smattering of all sorts. To some extent you do have to be a certain individual to do what we do. [00:18:30] Um, to work. I went into work yesterday at 2:00 PM. I left at like midnight. Um, you, you have to kind of be a certain person to do that. I don't really have the same days off. They fluctuate depending on business levels. So someone to put up with that and to manage your life with that kind of schedule, it takes a certain person knowing that someone is always going to have an opinion on what you do for chef to cook something that they're passionate about and love. And then for Brandon people, they don't even know like crap on them through, through Yelp. [00:19:00] Um, it takes a certain person to be able to put through that. So we are all very similar in a lot of ways, but there are different things that drive everyone and going through a conference like that, it's great talking to people and learning what drives them, what their passion is. Um, but yeah, everyone's different, but we're all the same at the same time. It's like people say that hospitality, there's thousands of hotels in this country, but it's actually a really small industry. I bump into people that I've worked with in the past. Um, or, you [00:19:30] know, it's, it's a pretty small business in a small industry, believe it or not.

Speaker 2: Uh, did you go to college?

Speaker 3: I went to Johnson and Wales

Speaker 2: Johnson. What did you study hospitality

Speaker 3: There? I studied hospitality in Denver, Colorado.

Speaker 2: What's that education like? And is that an education that, you know, somebody that wants to get into your business, you would recommend?

Speaker 3: Uh, so I, I am not, I can't do school. School is not my thing. Um, I worked really hard since I was in high school [00:20:00] in this business. And I would say for me personally, um, I learned a lot more outside of school than I definitely did in a classroom, uh, because everything is so situational in life, I guess, but definitely in this business, um, I learned a lot more outside of school than I did there. Uh, it was a great experience. I did learn a lot of things. Um, but I would say that what I've learned in hotels and in the business, um, far exceeded anything I learned at school, but we, Johnson Wells is a great university. Don't, [00:20:30] uh, I don't want to talk negatively about getting an education or going to that school or anything like that. But for me, it was more valuable for me to kind of go through the gauntlet of hospitality. This is where I learned a lot of everything that I know.

Speaker 2: So w what do you think is the most important part of your resume?

Speaker 3: I would say the position that I had took, so everything on my resume is food and beverage related from restaurant managers to Bev, you know, director of food and beverages at multiple hotels. But [00:21:00] I was the director of housekeeping for a year in the middle of all of that. And I think that is probably one of the most important pieces of my resume, because it shows that I hopefully it shows that I'm a professional when it comes to food and beverage and hospitality, but me jumping in a completely different field in this business shows that I want to be challenged. I'm open to new things. I want to gain experience. I'm hungry for knowledge. I mean, there's a lot of [00:21:30] things about that one experience that I had, um, and that people, when I have interviewed in the past people pick up on that, they're like, interesting. Why, why did you do that? And I ate, I'll always have a conversation about that one position, um, that I took on when I was in park city, Utah.

Speaker 2: So to expand on that answer, I'll ask another question. If you were to be, you know, in 10 years, you're going to retire and you have from this position at Waldorf Astoria, and you are going to groom somebody to [00:22:00] replace you. Um, what would you like to say, Hey, go do these things. Let's, let's have your resume look like this, and then you'll be as good or even better than, than I am.

Speaker 3: I would probably say travel. You definitely want me, hopefully I'm trying to answer the question, right? So if there's three things that I could tell someone to put on their resume to kind of get to where I'm at or, or get to this position, I would say, um, be willing to travel [00:22:30] and relocate because I've learned it was a completely different side of the business in Washington DC than there is in Chicago. And there is in park city, Utah, you have resort community. Everyone's a lot more laid back and relaxed. They, the guests want something different. Chicago is super fast paced. It's very competitive when it comes to food and restaurants and hotels, there's a hotel and restaurant opening up almost every day. It feels like in Chicago and DC is very business focused. It's, it's like it's political, there's a lot of different [00:23:00] clientele.

Speaker 3: You have, um, delegations checking in. You have a lot of different people, so it's a completely different dynamic. So for me, I would say number one would be, get experience, uh, all over the place. Different experience. Don't work in the same kind of restaurant for 20 years because you won't have this, you know, full on experience of what the possibilities are. Um, the second thing is I would say, go outside your comfort zone, um, apply for something that you've or try to do [00:23:30] something you've never done before. Um, cause you never know where that will take you. And third is, I don't know what number three is, keep trucking. I don't know. I don't know

Speaker 2: Exactly. That's great. So we'll, so what are some skills that, uh, you require, uh, of yourself or somebody in your position?

Speaker 3: Patients? Yeah, a ton of patients, um, [00:24:00] yeah, patients and, um, you gotta be tenacious I guess, to be in this business. Um, cause you are managing emotions. Uh, you are trying to capitalize on people's emotions. Um, and there's a lot riding on what we do. Uh, we do. Yeah. I mean, if you look at it, you could say we just provide food and beverage, uh, to people, we let people eat steak, people drink wine and we give people pillows and beds to sleep in for a weekend. [00:24:30] But it's a lot more than that. Um, you have people coming to our hotels, signing contracts. Uh, we have people that get a cabana that just signed a recording contract for the first time in their entire life. Uh, we have people that are getting married, you know, a little girl dreamed about this day or entire life. And here it is, it's, I'm in charge of making sure that everything goes off without a hitch for that event or my team is. So, um, I totally forgot what your question was. What was your,

Speaker 2: Because [00:25:00] the skills that you would, you would know that you have that make you good at your

Speaker 3: Yeah. So be passionate care, you know, be patient. Um, but definitely you have to be passionate. You have to care. You have to really want to do a good job. You can't leave anything on the table. Um, but patients, yeah, like I said, you're, you're messing with everyone. You're kind of playing with everyone's emotions and it's not always going to go the right way, but you have to keep your head up. You have to keep moving, um, through everything. Anything can happen, anything can [00:25:30] change. It's a crazy industry. That's sitting here listening to myself talk. I'm like, it's a little bit, it's a little bit more than just food and beverage, I guess.

Speaker 2: Okay. So you sound like parenting to some extent their patience, tenacity, suck it up and just do it. Yeah. So, so with all this, um, I mean, do you ever get burned out?

Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure. Absolutely. Um, you know, during COVID that was pretty tough. We all worked, um, every [00:26:00] day almost it's um, yeah, I mean, it's, it's a lot of hours, um, you know, it's, we, you do get burnt out because when people are partying and people are having a good time and your friends and family are partying, like we're working, putting on the party. So that, that, uh, has a, an effect definitely on family life. And me as an individual, uh, growing up, I served, I served my family growing up Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas [00:26:30] day, mother's day, Easter Thanksgiving. I served my family, those meals, cause they'd all come to the hotel cause we would spend time together. I would just be working, you know? So it's a different dynamic for me. Like now that I have a daughter and you know, I'm married, it's, it's like, I want to be there every Christmas morning.

Speaker 3: Uh, I will never get a new year's Eve off. It will never happen. So that's kind of an experience that everyone gets that I probably just won't get. I, I get it differently. Um, you know, so you DEC that burns after a while it hurts. Um, [00:27:00] we have to kind of make do, and luckily my wife is super amazing and she understands the business cause she's also in the business, so it's still challenging and it's tough, but you know, we were flexible with that, but yeah, working 12, you know, 12 hours a day, sometimes 7, 10, 15 days in a row. If we have to, um, waking up, getting to work at, you know, eight in the morning and then something happening and I can't leave until midnight, be back at eight in the morning again. Um, it [00:27:30] does get pretty difficult, but, but we, I love what I do. So, um, there is a burnout factor. You have to take care of yourself. You've got, gotta make sure you get two days off. You got to try to take a vacation when you can. But, um, yeah, it gets tough. I mean a lot of people get fried really quickly. Yeah,

Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah. And you and your, your, uh, I guess advice to, to the burnout is take a couple of days off reset, go do something different. Um, so you can come back a little fresh. Yeah.

Speaker 3: Yeah. And also I think if you're, if you're really getting burned out a [00:28:00] lot really consistently, there's something wrong, right? Either either your organizational structure is wrong, you don't have the people that you need to get the job done without you doing it yourself all the time, or you're just approaching the situation wrong. I mean, there's, there's a lot of reasons why things happen and sometimes a lot of people just they'd rather do it themselves, um, which isn't always the right answer and that will lead to burnout pretty quickly.

Speaker 2: Uh, talk to me about, uh, ambition about, you know, from when [00:28:30] you started to where you are now and what, you know, its role in getting you to where you are and where you want to be.

Speaker 3: Yeah. So it's kind of gone through waves, I guess when I was in Chicago, my ambition for this business and my career really took off because it's so competitive and everyone is so hungry, whether it's just the big city of Chicago or it's just the mentality of the people around me, but it was always about getting to the next position as fast as you can make more money, make more money because everything's pretty expensive in Chicago. It's very aggressive there. I felt it was, [00:29:00] um, and very competitive. So that's kind of like jumped me into the mentality of like, I want to be a GM of a hotel. I want to be the director of food and beverage. Um, what do I need to do to get there? Let me build a five-year plan. I got to figure out how I could get there faster.

Speaker 3: What do I need to do? Um, and then it kind of like rolled through, I guess, waves where I went from there to park city. And in the beginning it was very intense. I was very intense because I'm coming from Chicago, just a different pace of life. And I was at, I was at whole foods and the lady was checking me out, just [00:29:30] taking her sweet time in park city, this little resort town checking me out. I'm like, come on lady. Like we need to go like, and I'm thinking, where am I, where do I need to go? I don't need to go anywhere. So my kind of ambition down, I kind of just tried to enjoy life a little bit more and not be so worried with the next step. Kind of do the best I could in that position and enjoy living where I was living.

Speaker 3: So I guess my ambition kind of slowed down that I moved to DC. Organic was a little bit more aggressive and it was, for me, it became more about, I wanted to learn more. I want to do more. [00:30:00] Um, my boss at the time I knew he had like an expiration date. He was going to be leaving and he had two kids and he, you know, he did not want to be in DC. So I really kind of pushed myself to learn as much as I could and drive myself to get into his position. And then that kind of just kind of took off and I've been steady in that mode of continuing to want to learn and continuing to drive. Um, but now I have a family, so it's kind of, I'm trying to meet in the middle where I can't be so aggressive towards my career and trying to everything revolves [00:30:30] around the next step is not, you know, a lot revolves around that, but it's got to revolve around my family a lot more.

Speaker 2: Yeah. So, uh, have you had, or do you have any mentors,

Speaker 3: Mentors? I do. I, I, I kind of, haven't talked to a lot of them in a while, but, um, I've had a mentor a long time. His name was Jim Myers. Um, he was at one point in his career. He was the director of food and beverage for like the vice-president of food and beverage for Caesars. Um, I worked with him in Chicago. [00:31:00] He worked for corporate Hilton for awhile. Um, he moved me, helped me move to park city, uh, where I took on, um, an FNB director position there in the housekeeping director position. Um, and we used to go back and forth a lot. I learned a lot from him when I was with Mandarin Oriental. Uh, there was a gentleman I worked with his name was, um, and Darius Wickenburg. Um, he is now the general manager of a super luxurious boutique hotel in Germany, but, uh, he left Mandarin Oriental, went to Singapore, uh, became the executive [00:31:30] executive assistant, which is pretty much the assistant general manager of the raffles hotel in Singapore, which was one of the top hotels in the world. Um, and now he's the GM of an amazing hotel. So we still go back and forth every now and then, but I learned a lot from him. Um, yeah. So, yeah, there's definitely a couple,

Speaker 2: Uh, talk to me about time and sense of urgency. Do you feel an urgency to, uh, you know, continue down a particular path or, um, do you feel like you're running out of time [00:32:00] to get somewhere? I feel like you have plenty of time.

Speaker 3: I don't, you know what it's, I don't, I w I I'm always looking at what the next step is. I'm always mindful about where I want to go and the decisions I make, um, or conversations I have, because it could result in the next position or the next opportunity. But in this business, you really don't know when or what the next opportunity is or when it presents itself. Um, so I've had, you know, having conversations about my future is always important, [00:32:30] kind of having a game plan, uh, but a lot of ways in this industry, I don't really control a hundred percent of my destiny because the perfect position could open up next week in bend. Oregon means, you know, someone in Hilton could call me and say, we want you for this position that wasn't planned right there, or the right position may stay in this hotel.

Speaker 3: I don't know, but I know where we want to be as a family. Um, so I try to make sure that is aligned and that we, my wife and [00:33:00] I are on the same page. And we have discussions about where do we want to go? I mean, when our daughter is at that age or where it's kind of like, okay, we need to settle down. We can't keep moving around. I've lived in like nine cities in the past 15 years. So we can't do that with little kids. So at some point we have to get to a point where we find a home base, I'm in a position where, um, we want to sit out for a while or really stay in and find a hometown that we can grow into. And our kids can go to school [00:33:30] and stuff without a 7up bounce across the country, everywhere and hotels. So there is a little bit of sense of urgency, but it's like a three year, four year mark, I think. So

Speaker 2: How's your kind of schedule daily schedule changed over the last two or three years since you had gotten married and had a kid?

Speaker 3: Yeah, so, um, my schedule is, I guess it has changed definitely. Um, I still don't really get weekends [00:34:00] off, uh, which is tough because my wife works Monday through Friday. She's off Saturday, Sunday. I'm typically, I used to be off Sunday, Monday, so we have one day together, but now it's kind of like, I get Mondays and Tuesdays, so we don't have a full day as a family to do stuff. Um, so that kind of, it kind of throws a wrench into things, but my daily I'm either I leave the house at seven. I get to work at eight. Um, I'll be usually a lot of times I'm leaving the house before my daughter even wakes up and I try to get off work [00:34:30] at six 30 or seven. And I come home, I rush home for bath time, and then I I'll do the bath time and I'll put her down.

Speaker 3: So typically, um, I will get 20 minutes with my daughter a day. Um, and then a lot of times, a lot of times, I think this week alone, two or three days, I got to work 8:00 AM and I couldn't leave before nine or eight, 8:00 PM. Um, just because of business levels things happening. Um, so there's several days a week. I don't even get to see her. Um, but, um, on my days [00:35:00] off, I always try to make time for her. Uh, my wife's on maternity leave right now, so it's great. Like we're going to go to lunch after this call and, you know, we've, I think a couple of weeks ago when she, we had our same days off, they lined up, we went for lunch for the first time in like two years.

Speaker 3: Yeah. But it's like a, it's like a yo-yo it bounces all over the place. Uh, I don't know what my schedule is usually, um, for the following week until Thursday. And then we try to make plans, but we don't, [00:35:30] we don't make a lot of plans. Uh, we make big plans, like on, I took a Thursday off and we went to Disneyland for my daughters two second birthday. Um, so we will make plans, but it's tough to really say, oh yeah, I'll be home for bath time today. 11:00 AM in the morning and be say that because I have no idea what's going to happen. I can have an ultra VIP walk into the restaurant that needs to, I need to greet and walk on. You know, it's just, it's tough.

Speaker 2: Yeah. So with Ashley, your wife, having worked in this [00:36:00] industry, you find that she's far more understanding of your schedule than anyone else would likely to be, or maybe your peer spouses.

Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, I, yeah, she totally understands, um, does it make it easy for her or for me, but she understands what it takes to do what I do. Um, you know, we don't have nine to fives and weekends off together and, um, all that stuff. So, but she understands the business she's currently in the business. So she works full time [00:36:30] and she takes care of a two year old at the same time working from home. Um, so she's crazy busy. Um, but yeah, she understands, we worked in the two hotels together, so she understands an F and B director and she understands what the position entails. Um, our busiest time is when people are eating. So it's tough. Holidays are busy, so she understands, but it's not easy. I mean, I have a lot of friends that have a friend that's on, like their, I don't know their 50th girlfriend because they just don't, they don't get it. Like, what do you mean? You have to work [00:37:00] every single night. It's like, who am I going to go out with? Who am I going to have dinner with? Who am I going to go to cocktails with this isn't working out. Right. That kind of happens.

Speaker 2: So do you anticipate that being pretty consistent over, you know, with your next baby coming and, uh, and you know, for the years to come or do you think that'll change?

Speaker 3: Well, I think in my next position, um, I've even had this conversation with a couple of people that, you know, priorities have changed and it's not about [00:37:30] I it's setting the expectation. Right. So my wife and I have had this conversation one more time. So the next position I take the understanding and the expectation needs to be there where it's okay. I'll do whatever it takes. That's not the expectation I have. Like, I don't work to work. I work to live. So I want to be able to have a position. And my superior understands that I, I need to have family time. I need to be able to take time. Um, I, I can't have [00:38:00] six Sundays off a year when that's, you know, that's six days I get with my family. Like that doesn't make any sense. Like, I wouldn't, I'm not going to do this anymore. If that's what happens, you know? So the next position, or as my career grows, um, ideally there will be more time opened up for my family.

Speaker 2: Yeah. What's what's time. Like now when you spend time together

Speaker 3: Time, like right now, um, we go to the park. I mean, we live in Santa Clarita, so I mean, it hasn't [00:38:30] rained since February. It's been between 70 and 90 degrees every single day and sunny, so always have this time outside, which is great. Um, so we're in the backyard where I'm watching a movie, uh, in the mornings. Um, we're going to, yeah. I mean, we have six flags on the street, so we're going to try and get season passes to six flags, do that a bunch. We have a neighborhood pool. We're going to be going to the pool a lot. Uh, but just kind of like hanging out a lot of hanging out and just winging it. And whatever little Ember feels like doing, we kind [00:39:00] of try to do that. And then when she goes down for bed, um, Ashley and I are, you know, we cook dinner, we relax, we hang out, we'll go to the fire pit outside.

Speaker 3: We'll just, we're watching Vikings right now. We're in season six. So we're like, we're like glued to Vika. So we'll just like sit down and we'll get like, hooked on something like that. And like, just joke around and laugh and just, just relax. So, I mean, she's, she's so busy. I mean, she's, she's due next week on Thursday. So between doing that working full time, [00:39:30] having a two year old at the house without daycare for a long time, I'm exhausted when I get off from work and she's even more exhausted when she gets out from work. So for us, it's just hanging out relaxing.

Speaker 2: Uh that's that's great. Uh, I've heard that show is great too. I'm going to have to start watching that show gears. We need new show. It's crazy. So, so my kids are about to be six and seven, and I found over the last seven years, my role as a dad has evolved dramatically. And so having had a [00:40:00] newborn just two years ago and about to have another newborn and, and, you know, how do you feel? What do you feel like your role as a dad is?

Speaker 3: My role as a dad is to support mom 100%, a hundred percent,

Speaker 2: Hundred percent agree. The first couple of years, it feels like that's, that's what it's all about. Um,

Speaker 3: My, I mean, I think my job now too will be, I'll be on Ember duty, you know, a lot [00:40:30] because the newborn will be, you know, hanging off of mom and like needing mom 24 7. So for me, it's, it's really keeping Amber at bay contained, you know, kind of like keeping her occupied when I can. Um, but then, yeah, just supporting mom really. She's doing, she does all the work. She does, like most of the work. It's crazy. Yeah.

Speaker 2: What are you anticipating, you know, effective Thursday, you know, and for the foreseeable future, how that role will be changed or enhanced or evolve.

Speaker 3: [00:41:00] Uh, do I think it'll change? Like how do I think it'll change on Thursday? Um, yeah, I think once we come home from the hospital, um, we're just gonna, I don't know. I don't know we're going to wing it. We're going to figure it out. We don't know what it's going to be. Like, you have two kids, we have a two year old. How is she going to react with the newborn? I mean, if it's like her little doll, she's going to try to throw them around. So you have to like manage that situation. My parents will be here. Her parents will be here. So it's kind of, I want her to relax as much as possible focus on him and, uh, [00:41:30] hopefully I can take care of everything else while I'm off. And then I guess we, we kind of, I think you go into it having a plan, which is kind of BS because you plans don't make any sense with children. Um, you kind of just wing it. And I think that's what we did with Amber was kind of like, well, I don't know. We could stress out about a lot of stuff, but usually everything works out. So hopefully everything just works out. We'll just figure out how it works out.

Speaker 2: We're all total experiments. Aren't we like our parents were, were manifestations of [00:42:00] their experiment. Our kids are going to be the same of our, nobody knows how to do it. If there was a right way to do it, we'd be doing that.

Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, I don't know it is an experiment. It's like, we knew what our daughter needed to fall asleep when she was a newborn and maybe this one he'll just need to listen to the margarita machine and then he'll fall asleep. It's like, well,

Speaker 2: What happened?

Speaker 3: That'd be amazing.

Speaker 2: So how has your relationship with, you know, you go from just you and your wife and now it's you, your wife and a kid, and soon to be another [00:42:30] kid, like, how's your relationship dynamic changed since having kids?

Speaker 3: Um, yeah, we, I mean, we do everything is different, I guess. Right. I mean, as far as what we do, um, we randomly we'll go out, you know, we'll go out to lunch or whatever, we'll talk and be like, oh, remember that time at the beach sack back, you know, before we had kids and we would just, how many shots of Jamison we do? Did we do like, you know, we'll look back at our beach vacations when we went to the outer banks with the four kids. [00:43:00] Um, and we would do a lot of stuff that we wanted to do and what we enjoy doing, or, you know, we could go like 20 concerts a year now. It's, it's something it's completely different. As far as our dynamic. I mean, we went to Disneyland and we just kept looking at our daughter the whole time.

Speaker 3: Cause we were so enthralled with like her experience and making sure that she loved every moment of it. Um, that made us super happy. Right. So that's kind of, we live our life for her now [00:43:30] and soon to be booked for them. Um, but yeah, it's definitely, you ha it's like, you forget, you don't forget, but it's like, we, like, we were, we went out to dinner the other night. I think my wife and I just were looking at our daughter a lot. We don't look, we didn't look at each other as much as we used to, I guess. So you have to remember and you have to pay attention and you have to, you have to keep working on everything.

Speaker 2: Yeah. A hundred percent with you experiencing the same thing as they did older, it seems to be easier because you start, uh, [00:44:00] you, I find that like at first we were, we have different parenting styles and more different things from our kids and from ourselves. And then you, when you change the way you communicate it, because the stakes are higher stakes, more, never so big as you having a kid. And then now that they're six and seven and almost like working together, it's almost forced me and Sarah to be more of a team because the little, the kids can conspire together and do their own thing. And, uh, it's, it's, it's a whole new thing, [00:44:30] uh, than it was, you know, pre-kids, when are your biggest concern was just like, which bar are we going to saddle up to? And which friends are we going to sit? Yep. So what are some of the milestones you think about in your two years of being a dad?

Speaker 3: Uh, I have had, can I say, oh, moments.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Those are the best moments.

Speaker 3: Uh, I'm trying to think of what they were. So I rock climb a lot. Um, there was this there's this little wall down this just, I don't know, these are, there's [00:45:00] definitely bigger milestones. I can't think of it, but she climbed this little wall by herself, which is like four feet and she got to the top and she was like this. I was like, holy. She can, she can like climb things like for me every now and then there's just kind of like, holy. Like, we like that. We made this like, how did this happen? Like, you know what I mean? Like when you left the hospital for the first time, there's that, oh, moment of like what people around us are like, letting us go home with this. This is the same way. Cause you don't, you have no confidence in what you're going to do then, you know, there's [00:45:30] like, oh moments.

Speaker 3: Like she, she fell for the first time after she learned how to walk and like bumped her face and she was bleeding and it's like, okay, like we have to really, I mean, we always need to be, you know, but there's like, it's crazy that there's this crazy moment. I don't have any like off the top of my head milestones. And then the fact that like when she walks, um, she loves to go hiking. She loves to climb. She loves to like do all these little things. She tries to ride our dogs around. It's like all these little moments everywhere. Like you have to remind yourself that this [00:46:00] is a human being that you made. It's crazy.

Speaker 2: So w what do you think was most unexpected? Something you didn't see coming?

Speaker 3: I should have asked you for questions before. So I could think on them.

Speaker 2: That'd be no fun

Speaker 3: Things. I not write things on it like that. I wasn't ready for. Um, I don't know. She's just so bad. She's just like, she's so awesome. Like, she won't drink her milk unless she cheers everybody in the room. You know what I mean? Like, [00:46:30] she's just so happy and so bubbly. She's not, it's not like in the beginning of having an infant for the first time, it's kind of like cheese, like, Y like, so there's moments where you just like, why, like, why this is, this is, this is brutal, you know, but now it's like, not like that at all. Okay. She has a temper tantrums and stuff, but for the most part, she's trying to run around in the sprinkler and like toast people with her milk and like she giggles the entire time. Um, yeah. I don't really know. I don't, yeah.

Speaker 2: You'd see. A, [00:47:00] can you, even at two, do you see these little expressions of you are Ashley?

Speaker 3: Yeah. She eyes me all the time. Um, she does that a lot. She she's getting, yeah. She's, she's getting really good at her little facial expressions. Um, and, uh, yeah, she's, she's like me in a lot of ways. Um, but she's like her mom in a lot of ways, too. For sure. So, yeah. Did you

Speaker 2: Know as [00:47:30] with, uh, Amber growing up, uh, how do you feel like your role? I mean, you said right now it's a hundred percent support mom, but how do you feel that your role is going to change over the next 16, 18 years?

Speaker 3: Uh, I want to expose my kids to every single thing I possibly can. Um, I was watching a video the other day of this little kid, like little kid, like super small little kid who was catching a fish [00:48:00] and it was a giant fish and the dad didn't move. He didn't like this kid had this like four year old, had this huge fish online. And if that was me, I was like, oh man, I would've run over there and like help the kid. Right. But this dad didn't do that. He sat there and he kept video taping and this, this little kid reeled in this fish and brought him on the boat all by himself. And I'm kind of like, I want my kids to experience stuff. I don't always want to, I want them to have to do a lot of things for themselves.

Speaker 3: I want to put them in, get them in situations [00:48:30] where they learn and they are proud of accomplishing things independently. Um, but my role is, yeah, I want to support them. I want to expose them to different things. Um, I don't want to be the dad that like always sits and watches TV. Uh, I want, you know, we have the chariot that goes behind the road bike, and I take her out all the time, hiking all the time. I want them to travel. I want them to see stuff. Um, so my role is really kind of like just to help guide them and give them experiences.

Speaker 2: So what do you, what do you think [00:49:00] you're preparing them for by doing that?

Speaker 3: Um, preparing, I think I'm preparing them for, to be independent, uh, to be able to make a mistake without it being the end of the world, to be able to try new things, to jump in head first, um, to find their passions, to kind of find who they are through their experiences. I want them to, I don't want them to always like, be afraid to do something. I want them to [00:49:30] know that they can do it if they fail. It's okay if they succeed right on. Um, but I want him to, I want him to go for it.

Speaker 2: How does that align with the way that you grew up?

Speaker 3: A hundred percent? My, I couldn't do anything I wanted to do. I always, I couldn't just do whatever, but I was definitely parented away where I was able to make choices and make decisions. Um, and I was able to [00:50:00] fail or I was able to succeed. And, uh, I had enough freedom to where I wasn't like dying to escape my parents. Um, I could go hiking. I could, I could, I could, I was allowed to sneak out at night. Some occasions if I wasn't causing any trouble, it was like, you know, I was allowed to drink in the basement with my friends if we stayed inside and we were safe. And so it kind of, I had a little bit of independence. I was able to do stuff. I, after college, [00:50:30] after high school, I packed everything up and they'd let me drive across country by myself to Denver.

Speaker 3: And, um, kind of experienced that by myself. And, uh, I did that twice. Um, my dad took me on vacations. My dad and I went skiing across the country all over the place while my mom and sister went off and did their thing. So I was exposed to a lot of stuff. Um, yeah, I mean, my dad was, my dad traveled a lot. My parents traveled a lot when we were little and even before that, so they all had, they had experiences. My dad was like, if [00:51:00] you want a guitar, if you want an aunt, if you want something that's gonna, like, if you have a passion, I'm going to support you a hundred percent. So he'd help me do stuff like that. Um, you know, growing up. So, I mean, yeah, jumped from thing to thing all the time, but like, they were always there to support me and do whatever they could to help me along the way and let me make my own decisions.

Speaker 2: So what's an advantage that you had growing up that your kids will not have?

Speaker 3: I don't know. I mean,

Speaker 2: The con the context of life is certainly different. [00:51:30] Um, you know?

Speaker 3: Oh yeah. Okay. I guess you're, I mean, when you look at that way, yeah. I mean, it was a lot, I didn't have a cell phone. I didn't have social media. If you want to get into that conversation. I don't even use social media. I don't know if you've Facebooked me, but I haven't been on Facebook. I don't, I, I gave it up a long time ago. I don't have a Twitter account. I used Instagram when I went to Everest for like a two and a half week period. That's it. I haven't touched it since. So I think the media, the social media, the TV, [00:52:00] for me, it was like, go outside, go climb a tree, go break your arm, get outside. That was like, and it was safe to do that nowadays. Um, oh, there was a creeper driving around in a truck, looking at people in the evening and our neighborhood. And we had like the safest community ever. You know what I mean? It's like, so the, the, the freedom to be able to just go outside and play as a kid. I don't know if that's reality anymore. Um, social media and the impact that all of that has, um, I think [00:52:30] is super negative, um, in a lot of ways. Um, so for my daughter to grow up, to be more concerned with what she looks like on her phone, I think is pretty troubling.

Speaker 2: How about the inverse of that question? What's an advantage that your kids will have, that you did not have,

Speaker 3: Um, advantage that my kids will have, hopefully grandparents, I didn't have, I had one grandparent growing up. Um, but hopefully it, like my parents, um, are super healthy. My mom runs. So I, I think they're [00:53:00] going to be around for, hopefully they're going to be around for a long time. That's something that I didn't really have a lot of. Um, also Ashley's side of the family, there's like 30 or 40 of them, you know, uh, that side of the family. And they're all really close when I went home. When, when Ash went to Ashley's house for the first time in Vegas to be in her family, her grandma opened the door and there was like 40 people behind, you know what I mean? So our kids to be able to have like my cousins, I don't, I mean, I [00:53:30] don't even know a lot of my cousins.

Speaker 3: Um, I'll see my aunt and uncles, like maybe once, every couple of years maybe. Um, but the family is not nearly as tight, um, or, you know, as Ashley's side of the family. So for them to be able to like, oh, let's all go to Vegas and like visit grandma and grandpa. And then there's like, there's like 20 kids and there's like 40 adults, or, you know, it's not that many, but there's a lot of people, um, for them to have that kind of family and that experience like family [00:54:00] barbecues and stuff like that. I never got, I really never had that. We traveled a lot. I have, I have a couple of in Seattle, outside of Seattle, Chicago. Um, you know, I have an uncle that's in Ohio. I have cousins out here. So, I mean, they're all over the place. So there really isn't a reunion that happens. So for them to be able to have that, we would just take us going to Las Vegas for my kids to see 30 family members. It's pretty cool.

Speaker 2: That is really good. I'd echo that same thing. I, you know, my folks divorced and they got married and divorced again, [00:54:30] and like, it never had any cousins my age. So it was just kinda me and my sister and my dad or me and my sister and my mom. Maybe we would see grandparents, but now that I'm married to Sarah's family, I'm really married to her family where we're going to have 20 of us next week and a house for seven days. And we got all the cousins, all the aunts and uncles, um, I think that's a huge advantage for, for people growing up, having families like that. Um, so what's, what's [00:55:00] a piece of advice, uh, for, as a dad that, that you've taken to heart, something somebody told you that really resonated and sticks with you.

Speaker 3: I don't know. Say I love you. Yeah. I guess I don't know if anyone told me that for some reason in my head, I, I, I vaguely remember someone saying like, oh yeah, they, you know, I didn't, I grew up in a house where people never said, I love you. And for me, that's crazy. So I want to make sure that like Ashley [00:55:30] and I, we, she just said this the other day. She said, I wonder why she hasn't said, I love you yet. We say it so often. You know what I mean? Um, so that, I think, definitely don't forget to say that no matter what. And I, and I think even just in relationships, don't walk out the door, like go to work or whatever, angry at the other person, because you never know what's going to happen. You know what I mean? So you don't want to, you never want to leave a situation angry or upset and figure it out, which we don't always do. But I think it's a good piece of advice that [00:56:00] we were still working. I mean, we're, of course we're still working on things. That's how it works. So yeah, for forever.

Speaker 2: That's awesome. That's awesome advice. And it's a story worth sharing that happened just a couple of weeks ago that you reminded me of that anybody listening this, you know, we've all been that parent, I suspect where we're playing with our kid and then it hits your mind. You know what I'm done playing now, I'm going to go turn on TV or get a snack or work on something or go do whatever you're [00:56:30] going to do. But then you fight it just long enough to go, you know what, I'll play another five minutes and then I'll go do whatever my plan was. I did that the other day in the driveway. I decided, you know what, it. I'm gonna stay out here and play for another 10 minutes. And not 30 seconds after I made that decision, my son came over, sat in my lap and said, dad, I love you.

Speaker 2: That was it. If I had gotten up and walked out, walked back inside, I wouldn't have gotten that. [00:57:00] And, uh, it's just, if you're ever sitting around and give it, give it another five minutes and just hang out and say, I love me. So I'm there with you, man. Um, let's, let's do, uh, some kind of, uh, recall, uh, like light lightning round type stuff. Yeah. Like rapid fire. Yeah. We'll give it a try. So, uh, all the money in the world, um, no object, uh, no logistical problems at [00:57:30] all. What is a gift that you would gift to every father?

Speaker 3: Um, man, I'm slow with rapid fire.

Speaker 2: It can be slow fire.

Speaker 3: Every father, like, okay. So like, I, I don't know I have this, I have this Osprey backpack that my daughter goes, I don't know. This is not like some, I've an Osprey backpack that my daughter goes into. The awesome. It is awesome. I mean, if for all the dads that have kids that are small enough to fit in that thing. [00:58:00] Awesome. I mean, it's everywhere from, we went to Santa Monica to we've hiked all over California, Zion national park. We did the narrows hike through the canyons and the water. She was in that backpack the whole time, just chilling, eating goldfish, and like she's experienced so much from back there. And it gives me the opportunity to go out and do what I love without really having to feel like I'm like, oh man, I can't, I can't go hiking. I can't do this because I have to, like, I don't want to ever feel like that. I just throw it back there. And she loves [00:58:30] it. She drinks out of the little Camelback. I would give every dad that has a kid that's small enough to fit in that backpack. I'd give them one of those bags.

Speaker 2: I love that. And I even extend that as like a metaphor to me and just whatever tool it is, it enables you to have your child enjoy whatever it is you enjoy together. So what are three characteristics that make up a super bad,

Speaker 3: Super dead. You have to be able to laugh. You have to be able to be serious, but not super serious. [00:59:00] Uh, and then patient. Yeah, that's it? I think.

Speaker 2: Uh, who's your favorite television dad?

Speaker 3: My favorite television. Dad. I'm not going to say Peter Griffin. That'd be bad.

Speaker 2: Uh, can't say Cosby. Think

Speaker 3: I, no, you definitely can't stop God. No, you can't say bill Cosby. How about Tim Allen? I don't know. From home improvement. I don't know. I can't think of anything that just popped [00:59:30] in my head. So,

Speaker 2: Um, so when in your life do you feel the most love?

Speaker 3: Uh, yeah, when I'm just with my wife and daughter.

Speaker 2: Um, so this is the, uh, I got to call it the Tim Ferriss question. Um, what's, what's the big highway out there. Um,

Speaker 3: Or a five

Speaker 2: Or a five. That's the one that four or five. So you got a billboard on the 4 0 5 that people are probably [01:00:00] going 10 miles an hour pass, but let's pretend it's midnight and you can go 80 miles an hour on the 4 0 5. And you got a billboard and you it's a piece of advice to dads and it's gotta be, you gotta be able to read it on the billboard. Um, short and sweet. What piece of advice do you put on the billboard for every dad that drives

Speaker 3: By just do it

Speaker 2: Nicely. You might have a problem with the trailer

Speaker 3: With that? I have no, I, yeah. I don't know. Um, [01:00:30] advice that's short and sweet have fun. Don't be too serious. Don't take yourself too seriously. Don't take anything too seriously. It'll work out.

Speaker 2: I like it. Do you have to take that advice sometimes?

Speaker 3: Yeah. For sure. Yeah. You can't, I'm not, I do take things seriously, but I always have the mentality of like, oh, it'll work out. And it always does. It's like, I don't, I try not, I try not to stress a lot as much as I can. There's things to stress [01:01:00] about obviously. But, um, it always work out, you know,

Speaker 2: When, when you're stressed out, what do you, what do you do to show?

Speaker 3: I vent to my wife, um, to chill out though. Um, I'll just like work in the garage, go for a bike ride. Um, I take the dogs for a walk every night and every, you know, I tried to in the morning, it doesn't happen all the time, but in the, in the evening we go for good, like two mile walk in the evening with the dogs just to like chill out. Um, but I don't really get stressed [01:01:30] out very frequently during COVID it was like a different story. Um, but like, I typically, I'm a pretty chill person, I think.

Speaker 2: All right. So what's, what's something that's on your not to do what it says, a dad, something you never want to do.

Speaker 3: So think I never want to do, I don't want to force them to do something they don't want to do if it's not needed. You know, if my kid doesn't want to play piano, I'm not going to force him to play piano. Like, um, [01:02:00] yeah. And I'm not going to beat my kids, you know? There's like that whole thing, like there's, there's like, I don't want to force them into doing anything and I don't want to be this. I, yeah, I'll let him, I'll let my kids make their own future. I don't want to make them. I don't want them to work in hotels. I don't want them to be chefs. I don't want them, but what if they want to do it, then they should go for it. I'm not going to tell them what to do or how to do it. When it comes to their like life, I guess I'm going to make suggestions. I'm not going to make the decisions for them when they're older. [01:02:30] Now I make the decisions, right. My wife and I do obviously, but when they're older and they can make their own decisions, I don't want to be a one. I want them to do that. I want them to figure out what they want to do.

Speaker 2: Uh, do you think it's fair to judge a parent based off their child?

Speaker 3: No. Yeah. No

Speaker 2: Weird question about it.

Speaker 3: It is a weird question. Uh, I dunno. It's like a, kid's [01:03:00] like CA I mean, there's a lot of external factors. I think that play into a lot of situations, but I mean, if you look at it, like, uh, in a lot of ways, a child is like a blank canvas when they're born and they become who they become because of their experiences they have and whatever impacts their life and their parents are the biggest part of that impact. So I think the way the parent ma parents, I guess [01:03:30] it has some kind of impact on the child. And that's, that's, I think in a, in a way, uh, there's a lot of things that the parents do to make the kid who they are or the child to become who they are. There's also a lot of external factors. Like my daughter's a daycare right now, some little girl at daycare, it could be teaching my daughter how to hit somebody. I didn't do that, but who knows? You know? So I think it's not a hundred percent. You can't a hundred percent blame a parent. I think you can blame a parent for how they [01:04:00] handle the situation with the child. Or you can, what, I don't know. Now we're just talking about judging people. I try not to judge people.

Speaker 2: Yeah. Little Susie or there's a piece of. Her parents must be jackasses.

Speaker 3: Why can't they just like walk their kid out of olive garden?

Speaker 2: All right. Um, the, so in the event, this recording lasts forever and you get generations of music, [01:04:30] kids, uh, uh, that you get to speak to. Uh, what's a message, an evergreen message that you'd like to pass down for generations.

Speaker 3: Um, uh, work hard, love hard. Um, just do what makes you happy? And I love all of you. I don't know. Do what makes you happy and what makes others happy? Whether [01:05:00] that's work well at work or life, um, focus on what makes you happy and what everybody around you makes that makes them happy.

Speaker 2: Kevin, can you, uh, can you make somebody else happy without your own outings? First?

Speaker 3: Probably not.

Speaker 2: Cam a child loved their parent as much as a parent can while the child probably not. What else you got? Anything else? No, let's [01:05:30] call it quits. All right. Cool, man. I'll shut it down. Thanks for listening everybody. Thank you.

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